Closing Time, The Hunt, Doors

Closing Time...

Sharkey and I managed to close down two places tonight. Our church has a tradition where after the Thanksgiving Eve service we all go have pie in the fellowship hall. We're Lutherans, so you know there is always food a plenty around the services and especially around the holidays. =) We ended up talking with our Pastor and his wife until we were the last ones in the hall. Shortly after that, we went to Max & Erma's for a quick bite to eat and before we knew it we were the last two in the restaurant. We managed to close two places in one night.

The Hunt....

As you all know or maybe do not know, I am a hunter of hard to get items and bargains, cause let's face it, retail is for suckers! I try to get things for the family for Christmas, and well, eer, umm, I manage to sneak a little something in there for me too... Also, if you are like me you also know the thrill of the hunt is more fun than once you have said item in hand. But I digress... At this time of year, we come to one of the most prime hunting seasons and additionally the greatest of all days for "The Hunt," Black Friday. So today I received all the advertisements of who has what for sale at what time on Friday. So I am plotting my strategy to get the things everyone else is trying to score. So I may lose a little sleep, wait in a line for a couple hours with other crazed shoppers like myself, but if I can acquire the target(s), it's totally worth it. Oh, and I don't fall for the stores' strategy of getting you to buy other stuff by luring you in for the door buster items. I am all about getting "the item" and getting out. Yeah, I admit I can be a bit crazy, but I think it is somewhat fun. Besides, I'm helping the local economy! Watch out people, man on a mission. Adrenaline rising.

Doors...

My door issues continue. To recap I have issues with doors. I don't know whether or not to push or pull. I am not sure what side hinges are on, so I end up pushing on the wrong side of the door. You think automatic doors are no issue? Well that would only be the case if you happened to choose the right side to be on when the door slides open. Remember this?



So my newest difficulty is the automatic, revolving door. At work, the door I use to go in and out of the building is an automatic, revolving door. You scan your badge to get in and it automatically revolves you into the building. You hit the button next to the door once you are inside and it revolves around to let you out. My issue is the out. I hit the button and the door revolves 2x, every single time. For everyone else it revolves 1x. I have been able to get out, but so far the door has smacked me in the butt, clipped my heels and everyone in back of me is afraid to follow me out the door. So far I think I am the only one this happens to. Doors are out to get me. I think it may be a portal conspiracy. I just need more evidence. Oh, and I am not exaggerating. These things really do happen to me. And if I didn't think it were so funny, which I totally do, I think I could perhaps be mental about my struggles with doors. JP out...

Holiday Special Presentation

For those of you who can relate, remember this???



Thanks to YouTube I found this snippet. So to get back into character remember the era. Here's your inspiration. It's the 70's. You are in the living room with your parents. They are on the scratchy green twill couch and you are lying on the shag rug on your stomach with your head on your hands watching the console television set. Mom reminds you not to sit too close to the TV because of the radiation it gives off. The TV Guide listed that "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" was going to be on tonight, so you made sure you setup the time with the parents to watch it, because there are hardly any cartoons on TV and Charlie Brown with Snoopy is only on for the holidays and it's one of your absolute favorites. And if you miss it, you'll have to wait until next Thanksgiving for your chance to see it again. So 1 minute before 8:00pm CBS flashes the special logo, your heart races a little, and you think how great your life is at that moment. It is all you need to be happy.

That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles

Sharkey made me some chocolate chip cookies. She has been promising me these cookies for about a month. Yesterday I came home from work and when I opened the door I was greeted by the smell of fresh baked cookies.

Maggie turned 4 today. That's 28 in human years. Tonight she performed the canine Jedi Mind trick on me to get a bite of cookie:



Yeah, it worked! My little girl is growing up. Hard to believe she started at our home like this:



And who can forget dog skateboarding, the new Olympic sport:



And now she's crashed out on my lap. It's tough being Maggie you know. =)

Volume Control...Need It? Got it? Can It Be Taught?

There is a skill most of us are taught by our parents. It is called volume control. You know what I mean right? Small kids totally do not have it, but parents try their hardest to teach them to whisper or speak in their soft, quiet voice. Recently at work I was moved to another team and that meant I had to relocate my cube to another aisle. The aisle for the most part is not too bad. I am very easy going and I get along with pretty much everyone so no problem there. However.... I have this woman in my aisle who talks really loud. I mean I can hear every conversation from 3 cubes away. And to make matters worse I catch snippets of what she says and I find myself saying, "Are you kidding me? That totally is not true...." Like this:



It's like listening to Cliffy on Cheers explain the expansion of the universe or the mating habits of the New Zealand humpback whales. Needless to say I have a hard time blocking her out. I have to admit, some of the things she says amuses me at times and I think she's in her own little world, but I just wish I had a remote control to turn her down. Until that device becomes available, I guess I'll just have to rely on the good old iPhone and my headphones...

The Fit Is Go

Sharkey and I are sitting her watching "The Office" like we always do on a Thursday. The Honda commercial comes on plugging "30 Rock" and their slogan comes up...

The Fit Is Go

I think we are not the target market for the vehicle, because we cannot figure out what the hell this marketing means. Sharkey thinks it is something to do with velocity, like "The Fit really goes." Now I am of the mindset that maybe this deals with like the old Thunderbirds slogan, "Thunderbirds are GO!"

Bottom line is neither one of us knows what this slogan means. Can anyone explain to us what the heck this means?????

Time2

The Philadelphia Phillies Win the World Series --- 9:58PM

WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time

Time out of Graduate Class -- 8:00PM

Time to stop at Wawa for a hoagie -- 8:15PM

Time to get home and take out the trash and let Maggie out -- 8:25PM

Time to change out of shirt & tie into #8 Victorino Phillies Jersey -- 8:27PM

Time for inning 6: 8:35PM

GO PHILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Scary Christmas

Every year King of Prussia mall puts up their "ginormous" Christmas tree. It is pretty impressive and well, um, sort of scary. Let me explain. First the impressive part. It is about 4 stories tall, has animated toys all over it and is at the center of the mall. I have never been there when they've been putting it up, but I happened to go there this morning right when the mall opened. So here's a picture of the structure.



So what do you notice first? Can you see all the surge protectors all plugged into each other winding all the way up the tree? Can you say, "Fireman Bob we have a problem?" I am thinking this setup is not UL approved.

If that were the only thing with the tree, I could stop there. But, nooooooo. There are the ornaments they put on. First the Jack in the Box Clowns. Now I don't know about you, but I think clowns are scary. Besides that, who the heck puts this many Jack in the Boxes on a tree?



I think that the fire hazard and scary clowns both pale in comparison to the dolls though. For as long as I can remember, they always put these dolls on the tree. They all look like the Chucky "I am going to kill you" dolls. They are very creepy.



So in short there's nothing like taking your kid to the mall to sit on Santa's lap in front of a large incendiary tree with scary clowns and creepy dolls hung on it. Maybe they're just trying to combine the holidays and make it a "Hallo-Mas" tree?

Class Over, Time for Some Mac & Cheese

My Statistics class from hell is over!! Yes I received an "A." I mean come on, I graduated Summa Cum Laude with a degree in Applied Mathematics. I better be able to get an "A" in a statistics class or something's dreadfully wrong!

I took today and Monday off from work. Sharkey's Mom is in town so I thought I could use some down time and some family time. See, not only have I been dealing with the class from hell, but I have also been dealing with the project from hell at work. So I need down time and away time from work.

Today we went to the PDN Photo Expo in NYC. It was a lot of fun. My goal was to get as much free stuff as I could from all the vendors there. Yeah, I know that sounds lame, but it's what I have fun doing! It also cracks me up that all of them talk to me like I am Ansel Adams and have a huge photographic background. It must be the Asian carrying the Nikon stereotype. Truth be told I couldn't tell you anything of worth about taking photos, and I went along to be a pack mule for Sharkey. Heee Haaaawww.... But I like the convention thing and the expo was awesome! It was huge!!

Afterward, we took a cab to the Village for a bite to eat at S'Macs. Sharkey and her Mom shared the mac sampler and I had the Alpine mac & cheese which is gruyere with slab bacon...



Yes everyone, bask in the cheesy, gooey goodness of it all. And can you believe this photo was taken with my iPhone? Damn I love that thing. It's a good thing we don't have a place like this nearby or Sharkey and I would probably weigh like 300 lbs each!! Yes it is TOTALLY that good...

Halloween Candy

It's that time again. The air is colder, the kids are picking out costumes and it's time to stock up on candy. Sharkey and I make sure to always pick up candy that we wouldn't mind eating. I think we overdid it a bit last year because I ended up taking a ziplock bag to work filled with leftover candy. So here's the JP/Sharkey fundamental list of required Halloween Candy:

Snickers
Kit Kat
Crunch
Hershey's Almond
Hershey's Plain

What candy do you stock at this S~P~O~O~K~Y time of year?

Did Newton Have Days Like This?

You know that there aren't many Mathematics majors out there when you are in graduate class and the professor asks who has a degree in Mathematics and you are the only one in the room to raise your hand. It was like this....



This situation also poses a problem if you are the only Mathematics major in a graduate statistics class full of MBA majors and you look around and it looks like someone shot them with a tranq gun... Um, yeah... Math guy,....Math guy ova here!!!

Dancing Stormtrooper

Today LucasArts released a new game, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. Being the Star Wars fan boy I am, I of course could not wait to get my hands on it. I went to Circuit City at lunch to get it. Here's how this trip to Circuity City went:

JP: Do you have the new Star Wars game for the Wii?

Teenage Store Clerk: Uh, did that come out today or yesterday?

JP: I'm pretty sure it released today.

Teenage Store Clerk: Did you check Gamestop? I don't think we have any (Teenage Store Clerk guy doesn't even look at his computer or ask anyone else)

JP: Um, Gamespot? (JP starts laughing!) This is Circuity City right, don't you want me to buy it from you?

Teenage Store Clerk: (shrugging shoulders in a, "I don't know what the hell I'm doing" posture) sorry sir if you want to check back later, maybe we'll have some...

JP: OK, I'll just head to Best Buy after work.

I go to Best Buy on my way home, they have the game and I check out and because I bought the game on release day, YES CIRCUIT CITY TODAY IS RELEASE DAY, I received a free T-shirt. I get home, Sharkey takes it out of the plastic to see what geeky clothing I'll be sporting around the house. She starts laughing. She turns the shirt around and says, "Honey, what kind of flaming dance is the Storm Trooper doing?"



OK, so if the Stormtrooper had a top hat and cane, I could totally picture the "Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime girl" song playing in the background. And well, yeah it does look sort of gay, but it's free people...

Addition... Found this on YouTube... Hee heee....

The Win...And the Universe Balances Itself

So a few weeks ago, my partner and I lost the golf playoff. Nothing new there right? My back was gimpy and while I said I did my best, it was fine, no regrets, etc.,... it still sucked rocks to lose. Well, the universe tends to balance itself out and redemption lay right around the corner.

At the end of each season we have a final afternoon of golf and a closing season dinner. The final night we do one more competition using a little different format. Instead of playing against another men's team, we are paired with a women's team and we play a scramble format. No handicaps are used, no points given, just straight up golf the way the good Lord above intended it. Our team against 20 other teams. We played very well. My back is all good and one of the things I love to do the most is smash the ball down the fairway, and smash I did. The ladies we were paired with were really nice and my partner and I showed them a good time. They were a bit "older" than we were, but they were a lot of fun and made some decent shots/putts. They said, "youth has its advantages and that we were really nice men." Funny how we never get paired with the young, hot women's teams, but I digress... Anyhow... We finished -4 for 9 holes of play. So what that means is that if the par for 9 holes is 36, at -4 we scored 32.

We finished our round, turned in our scorecards, then hit the bar for a couple beers and enjoyed the closing dinner. We were sitting there after dinner and they started the awards. My partner and I were sitting there and they announced "the runner up for the scramble at -3 was..." I turned to my partner and said, "Dude, I think we won." He was bewildered and said, "No way." We watch the runners up get their awards and walk off, and my partner is still sitting there saying "no, way, no, way...." Then they announced, "the winners of the season ending scramble at -4 is JP, Bri, Char, and Nan." We went up and accepted our awards and went back to our seats (um, the ladies were eccstatic, they hugged us in front of everyone and were jumping up and down...it was cute). We're sitting there and my partner is still saying "no way, no way." I took a look at our award, and what we won was equal to what we would've gotten if we had won the playoff match. I then turned to my partner, Bri, (who is still in shock that we won, still saying, "no way, no way") and said, "WAY!!! SCORE!!!!" Once again, equilibrium has been attained in JP's life...

See the Resemblance

So remember that 1956 yearbook picture of me?




Here's my Dad with his sisters and niece. This picture was taken after he and his family relocated to Seabrook, NJ after the war. There was a photographer who was cataloging the events of World War II and the treatment of the Japanese Americans after being placed in internment camps. He took pictures of my Dad's family and their "together" time.



So notice the resemblance? Oh, and an interesting fact about this photo. My Dad could not play the piano. This picture was totally staged. Nice to catalog accurate, historical events, right? =)

What Would You Tell Your Kid?

Today was beautiful. Perfect in fact. There are few days that compare to blue sky, sunshine, clear air, and high pressure. And the back is all better. I still don't go full at the ball, but that is also a good thing. But this post is not about my golfing, not about my back, not about the perfect day. It's about something that happened at the driving range when I was enjoying this day.

The place where I hit balls has a go kart track and miniature golf course. Where I practice sits in front of the path leading to the go kart track. Lots of times, families walk by and I overhear them as they go to the karts. Today, I overheard a family walking to the track and one of their sons thought it was great fun to make ethnic remarks at the Asian guy hitting golf balls. Yeah, me. So I heard things I've become somewhat, mind you only somewhat, accustomed to growing up: "Aaaa-soooo, ching-chong, chink, chung, wok-socky, chop-chop, hitty ball..." I think the thing that bothered me more than what the kid said was his parents reaction. Absolutely nothing. They did not bat an eye or say a word. The kid said this stuff all the way to the go kart track and after they were done, he said the same crap going past me. So this behavior was acceptable and normal for them I guess.

Now growing up, my parents helped us deal with all of that stuff as well. They learned from their parents all about the way people judge you on your looks more than what's in your heart. They probably had it worse because they lived through World War II and the Japanese internment camps. They taught my brothers and me to ignore ignorance and to transcend others by our actions and accomplishments. I have to admit what they instilled in us works well most of the time, but still after all this time, there are times I do not feel like being the silent American.

In time if Sharkey and I are blessed with a child, I will pass on the same things my parents taught me. The content of one's character matters more than their physical appearance. There will always be ignorance, but you will need to be better and take the higher road. And while you may encounter such individuals, there are more good people in this world who do what is right and have honor in their hearts.

So my question to you is what would you tell your kid?

Dad, That You?

Sharkey told me to try this site tonight. So I went there and uploaded a photo. I scrolled through the pictures and 1956 really caught my eye. Here's what I "look" like in 1956:



The crazy thing is, I totally look like my DAD!!!

Now if I could just (sigh...) be that thin again. =)

Lost, But Intact

Thursday the back was about 80% good from when I injured it on Tuesday, but I didn't want to forfeit to the jerkstore, so I downed 4 Advil and went out to go at it. In short I lost, but the loss wasn't until the last hole. The final score was 5-4. So even at 80% we were tied going into the last hole, and I was able to make some decent shots to tie the match on the 8th and go into the 9th feeling pretty good. Most importantly, I didn't make my back injury any worse by playing. So it wasn't the outcome I wanted, but at least I gave it my all and did not get crippled in the process. In my book, it's a win!

Karma Is A Bitch

I am invincible. I can do anything. I am stronger than I've ever been. I am smarter now and can think my way out of any problem.

These are the statements of youth. I have said recently to people that you're as young as you think you are. I have always thought that. Until today. See I have a playoff match on Thursday. It is against one of the most obnoxious men ever. When we last met, I stuffed him. It was one of my finest moments. 9th hole, 6 foot putt to win the match and I hole it out. All he could do was watch. I loved it. But that was 3 weeks ago. That was then. This is now.

I had a bad day. I had a series of things go wrong. I walked out of work 1 1/2 hours late. I was wound tight. I went to the driving range to practice and let off some steam. On my 5 ball out of 75, hitting my approach wedge, my back did something funny. After this "funny" thing happened, I couldn't move too well without pain. Right now I'm sitting, chewing Advil like Tic Tac's and thinking about how I got to this state.

I have a match Thursday. I'm definitely questionable. I am vulnerable. I may not be able to play. I feel quite weak. I'm thinking how stupid it was to get myself into this spot. What did I do to invoke such bad karma?

These are the statements of a middle aged man (sigh...).

This Grinds My Gears...

I have seen a phenomenon lately that is quite disturbing. I am not sure if this unexplained action is widespread across the United States, or if it is just limited to the north east. The frequency I see this weirdness has been increasing to more than a few times a week. What have I witnessed do you ask? Well simply, I have seen people driving these:


Wearing these.....



Call me old fashioned, but my Dad taught me that driving is a full time job and it just seems so wrong to see people with earbuds in while they are driving. I realize that people listen to the radio or stereo loud in the car, but total sound block out just seems like an accident waiting to happen. Is it just me or does anyone else see a problem with this?

ABBA Anyone?

Tomorrow Sharkey and I are taking my Mom to see Mamma Mia at the Academy of Music. The real Mamma Mia. Not that movie that just came out with James Bond belting, screaming, um, yelling, um, sort of singing ABBA. Hopefully the weather will hold up for us. They are calling for possible thunderstorms in the city. We saw Mamma Mia already, but my Mom has been wanting to see it for a while, so for her birthday I purchased tickets. I do admit I love live Broadway shows, and I am comfortable enough in my masculinity to admit it. I have seen Phantom (2x), Les Miserables (3x), Miss Saigon, Mamma Mia, Singing In the Rain, and The Boy From Oz. So tomorrow we'll be basking in the ABBA goodness: