It Is Just As Natural As Breathing

Sharkey and I celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary last month. It's a bit late to be writing about that since it is May 26th, but as we were out and about tonight I was in one of my reflective moods. See, one of Sharkey's friend's marriage is ending after 8 years and we were talking about it in the car. It just made me think about how impossible that seems to me. Divorce. I just could not picture my life without Sharkey. She is totally my soul mate. She is definitely my best friend. She gives me her perspective on things I never even think of. Sure it may get annoying that it seems she's right about 96% of the time, and I'm constantly doing the deer in the headlights blinking because I never thought about "that," but I do appreciate the different perspective. We totally complement each other, maybe because neither of us takes ourselves so seriously, and more often than not when something happens we react pretty similarly and are thinking the same thing. I can honestly say I'm a better person because of having her in my life. And she may have 10,000 reasons why she loves me, but my list is pretty long as well, trust me.

Marrying her was one of the easiest and most natural things I have ever done in my life. It was just as natural as breathing. And even with all the stuff we've been through with breast cancer and all, I would still do it all over again without any hesitation. I never had any doubts about it from the first date, to when we were up at the altar, to now as I type this post and she is curled up watching the Dog Whisperer. I still remember our wedding day. I went downstairs because one of the bridesmaids told me Sharkey wanted to see me as soon as I walked into the church. I figured there was some last minute detail she wanted to go over with me. Did I forget the wedding license (nope it's in my tux pocket)? Did I forget the check for the country club (nope that's next to the license in the side tux pocket)? Did I forget her ring (JP fumbles through pockets frantically, oh yeah there's the ring)? So I arrived at the children's classroom downstairs where Sharkey was and there she was in her wedding gown and veil. Now mind you I had never seen her in the wedding gear until then. She turned and looked and me and said, "Well, what do you think?" I just cried when I saw her. She was absolutely stunning. This action in turn made Sharkey start to cry too. We stopped after about a minute or so and she retouched her makeup and the rest is history. Sure we laughed during the wedding vows in front of all our family and friends, but who doesn't right? =)

The Worst...

I came across this really interesting article from PC World, "The 25 Worst Tech Products of all Time." Being the technogeek I am I had to scan the list of things to see how many I either own or had owned at one time. Topping the list is no surprise:

Now this comes as no surprise to me at all. I freakin' hate AOL. In my opinion it is a virus masquerading as an internet service provider. Now when I first went online like everyone else, I did use AOL. Seemed like a good thing at the time, but it spiraled out of control. See, AOL once installed, works it's way through your entire computer. It changes sounds, changes your browser, embeds all this nifty AOL proprietary crap software on your machine, updates itself whenever it wants to, and is near impossible to uninstall. They also had really piss poor technical support and their billing service department really sucked the big one. I can remember canceling my service and still getting billed from them for 3 months after. I can remember going round and round with their billing support saying, "No I cancelled it 3 months ago and I've been using Earthlink ever since you jerkstore!!!" In the end they offered me 3 months of service for free and that's when I hung up the phone.

Star Wars...Aftermath of the Death Star Destruction

A friend of mine sent me this link to a clip:

Star Wars: Death Star Aftermath

I keep watching it and watching it. It is hilarious!!! Well, it is if you've seen the Star Wars movies. Sure I'm a geek. I like Star Wars and Anime... yeah.... yeah... I know most of you do not get it... But this is GREAT STUFF!!

It ranks up there with one of my souvenirs from Disney World, Jedi Mickey!!

Meet me at DQ

I grew up in New Jersey. South Jersey to be specific. Now when you think of New Jersey, you probably do not think of it as the Garden State as it is officially called. You probably think of Atlantic City, big corporations, organized crime, and medical waste. Well South Jersey is the "Garden" of the Garden State. It has rolling farms, is pretty much undeveloped and hasn't changed all that much in the past 30 years. Case in point, there's no Dairy Queen. I never grew up with a Dairy Queen. I had Carvell and Richmond's ice cream growing up. I sort of think both of those places were local companies, sort of like Tastykake. I never had Dairy Queen in fact until I started dating Sharkey. Man what I was missing!!!!



So now that we live in Pennsylvania, there are DQ's all over the place!! My standard order is a medium vanilla cone. That's what I've gotten for the past couple of years anyway. I do get a peanut buster parfait every now and then to be spontaneous, but I have to admit, that's a bit too much peanut for me. I've in fact hit the peanut buster quota for this year. But the past two trips to the DQ I've tried something different, the Banana Cream Pie Blizzard. It is soft serve with bananas, pie chips, some banana powder, and it gets topped off with whipped cream. It is inexplicably WONDERFUL!!! I strongly suggest you try it out if it even sounds remotely good to you. You will not be sorry. Hum.... I think the DQ is open for another hour.... See YA!!!!

Do you Anime? I do

Anime is short for Japanese Animation. You've probably seen it and thought, "Those are cartoons." Well, yes they are like cartoons, but Anime is a bit different. It's not Bugs Bunny, Fred Flintstone, or Woody Woodpecker. It has a plot and it is not all slapstick. Good Anime has certain characteristics. And believe me, there is bad Anime too. Typically there are a few distinctive things that good Anime has:

1. Giant Robots
2. Robots that turn into something
3. Big swords
4. Over expressive characters
5. Really well developed backgrounds and depth of motion
6. Huge guns
7. Characters that actually get killed

My first Anime I ever watched was Star Blazers. In Japan the title of the show was, "Space Battle Cruiser Yamato." It was awesome. The plot of the show was that Earth was under attack by this race of aliens who wanted to colonize the Earth, so they dropped radiation bombs on the Earth to make it inhabitable. The Earth's last hope was a team called the Star Force who traveled the galaxy in a retrofitted battleship in search of a planet called Iscandar who offered Earth a machine to remove the radiation.

Sure it sounds nerdy, but there was character development, there were trials and struggles you got to see the Star Force go though, some characters were killed, and there was some really cool animation. Especially the "WAVE MOTION GUN" the big hole you see in the front of the ship above was a huge cannon that could be fired.

The second best Anime I have seen is Robotech. Robotech was called Macross in Japan. Robotech was also a great big Anime soap opera. A huge alien batte fortress crashed into Earth and we Earthlings are able to decipher the technology and rebuild the fortress to claim our place in the universe. Of course just at the time the fortress was launched, the aliens who the ship originally belonged to want it back. It was a pretty cool plot line, and it had planes that transformed to giant robots:

So what's JP's current Anime? Quite simple Inuyasha. Inuyasha is an Anime that is set in Feudal Japan. Inuyasha is the main character and is a 1/2 demon and 1/2 human. He travels around with his group looking for sacred jewel shards. Inuyasha carries a sword that transforms into a huge fang and is able to throw blasts of energy at his opponents, which are mostly full demons. His group consists of Kagome, a girl who can sense the sacred jewel shards, Miroku, a Buddhist monk that carries a sacred staff and has a wind tunnel in his hand capable of sucking up objects and opponents to a void, and Sango, a demon slaying girl who wields a huge boomerang.

So this is what JP does in his free time besides golf. Now I don't dress up like characters, I do not attend the big Anime conventions, but I'll pick up a t-shirt here and there, grab DVD's and I do have some Anime figures in my office. Sharkey just accepts it, and every so often mocks me by saying in her ditzy voice, "Inuyasha!! Inuyasha!!"

Loose Strings in the Tapestry

You know reading Kranki's post tonight really made me think. It made me think and appreciate the turns that life takes. See, I took some detours in life. Take college for example. I switched my major 2x. I started as a Pharmacy major, switched to Engineering, and then ended up with a mathematics degree. As a result, it extended my 4 year program to 10 years. I went to my first college (yes I said first college) for 5 years, then took a year off and then finished my Bachelor's degree 4 years later working full time as a QC person at a juice plant and going to school part time. I credit my extended education to a maturity issue. Actually a lack of maturity issue. Yes, as childish as JP is now, he was even more immature when he was younger. I'd ditch class, skip exams (yes I said skip exams), skip finals (yes I said skip finals) and did lots, and lots, and lots of really stupid things.

My year break from school accomplished a few things. It made me think about the decisions I had made and how I was reaping what I had sowed. I learned responsibility. I learned humility. I learned how to talk to any person regardless of education, race, or gender. I learned that when you make any decision, you also have to be willing to accept the results or consequences of those actions. I learned when you start something, you must finish it. I learned life was about following through, keeping your word and integrity no matter what. I grew up. Now I do not recommend the route I took to anyone. It is not for everyone. But that being said, it was the right path for me. Because of my personality and how I grew up and basically because how I'm wired, there would have been no other way for me to learn those valuable lessons. It made me the JP I am today. And if one of those uncomfortable, uncertain stings in my life's tapestry were removed, things would have turned out way different.

So because I took my extended route, some really good things happened. I graduated from college summa cum laude with a Bachelor's degree in Applied Mathematics. I picked up golf from my father and I was able to spend more time with him and really got to know him for who he was. I still think of him when I golf today. But most importantly, because of my path, I accepted a job on the Main Line in PA and someone by the name of Sharkey walked into my office one day. So the 10 years of college and all the times of uncertainty were well worth it for her if nothing else.

Who Cooks?

When Sharkey and I were married, we made a household rule. Whoever does not cook, cleans up the kitchen. Well, being the anti-cleaning person that I am, where I love to clean so very much, I do pretty much all the cooking. And it's not because Sharkey can only make cereal and toast. Well OK, so she does make a lot of cereal and toast, but that's not totally why. =) I do enjoy it. I try to make a lot of different things and I try to do a lot of new things, time permitting. I'm also seasonal in what I make. In winter as everyone knows you do comfort foods like beef stroganoff, chili, and baked orzo and cheese. In the summer time, you do more Asian Chicken salads, seared tuna, grilling Mexican chicken sandwiches, and more colorful things like kabobs. I am also into the food presentation. So I try to arrange things and have some fun with what I make. I also try to go back to the "homeland" once in a while and make Japanese dishes. So you probably think all Japanese can make sushi. That is totally not true. However, JP can do sushi. I've done the California rolls, the nigiri with tuna and salmon and the maki rolls. I have the tools too. The super sharp knives, the bamboo rolling mats, sushi plates, chopstick holders, and fortunately for me Wegman's has a really decent Japanese, YES JAPANESE, not just "Asian" section of their store!!



One time I was at Wegmans, I was approached by this woman who was going to make a traditional Japanese dinner for her boyfriend. So she proceeded to ask me all these questions for about 1/2 an hour about what ingredients to use, how to do what, what's the secret to this, etc. I was happy to help. The funnier part was that this lady was what we Japanese people call a "hagojin" or in modern English a "whitey." It is interesting how much things have changed. No longer are we the sandal wearing goldfish tending people. We have technology, automobiles, and culinary respect!! Not bad for the "quiet American" people.

Golf, golf, golf...

So is it bad to publish 2 posts in one day? Is there some BLOG rule against that? Will I have to give back my decoder ring? Well, too bad, cause' I'm doin' it!

So golf season has started. Sharkey is a golf widow again. Golf can be down right maddening though. You practice, work on the swing, short game, putting, and the boomstick. So last year I was shooting around 86. So far, I've posted 96, 107, 88, and 98. ARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!Things definitely are not right in JP land!

My game is interesting. I'm about 5' 8" which makes me average height, but I can crush the ball off the tee, about 230 yards with my 5 wood and about 270 with my driver. I can hit the woods pretty well and I'm pretty accurate. On 9 holes I average hitting 5-6 fairways off the tee. That's great right? Well it really hasn't been. Because my swing has been so not dependable with my irons, so I typically hit the ball off the fairway, over the green, in the trees, in the sand, or short of the green. It's quite frustrating after having a great 1st shot. I have been cranking my ass!!!! If you've ever seen the Robin Williams HBO special, he does an excellent bit on golf. And the funniest part is, it is totally true!!!!

Robin Williams Golf Watch it now on StupidVideos!

But tonight I feel like I made a big turn. If you play golf you know that things do not always work the way they do for the guys you see on TV. You realize that those guys are the real deal and how much of a hacker you really are. But then if you are really blessed, you have those moments that you feel everything clicking. I think I made the turn with my irons tonight. When things go well, you know it. You can sense it. You feel it down to your core. Everything is working and there is no doubt in your mind where that ball is going to go. You have confidence and you feel that you can do no wrong. That's how I feel tonight. I'm in zen golf mode. I'm playing tomorrow and I'm really hoping for good things. It comes down to that I'm back on plane I can feel the club head through my swing and I can make that ball fly!!!!

My Kingdom for a cell phone

Did you ever misplace something? I'm sure you have. Car keys are common. Eye glasses can get lost. Sunglasses can turn up various places you do not ever remember placing them. Then there is the cell phone. My cell has gone AWOL. I've tried to retrace my steps, I've walked through what I was doing over and over again, and nothing, nada, blank, zip... It is gone. I have to admit, it is not the end of the world, but for some reason, I feel so stupid for misplacing it. I really like my phone. It is a Motorola ROKR.

It is a phone, it can send e-mail, surf the net, play games, has an MP3 player built into it, and it takes pictures. What more can a technogeek like myself ask for?

So Sharkey has tried to make me feel better. "Honey, it is OK, we can get you anther one." But I just cannot let this go. I think of what a waste it is to have to buy another one. I think of how this makes me feel like I was 5 years old again and I lost yet another pair of mittens. I think of how there are so many things I should focus on more. But I have to just accept it.

THIS SUCKS ROCKS!!!

On another note, anyone start to build their basement bird flu germ free sanctuary? Maybe I shouldn't have messed with that bird's nest in my grill. That just may come back to bite me!!!!

Vacation....It's gooooooooooooood

So here we are in the Magic Kingdom. It's vacation, it's relaxing, it's unwinding, it's recharging. It is AWESOME!!! Our first restaurant stop was the 50's Prime Time Cafe in MGM Studios. Now I'm going to break a personal BLOG cardinal rule, "Never post actual pictures of family on the BLOG." So I think you've probably wondered what my wife Sharkey looks like. Here she is:





Isn't she just the cutest thing!!!!! So here's the thing, the 50's Prime Time Cafe is a place out of the the nostalgic past. It is staffed by waiting staff with an edge. They tell you "OK, Hon' you set the table for dinner and remember Ma's four rules:"

1. Elbows off the table
2. Hats off at the table
3. Eat all your vegetables or no dessert
4. No Tower for an hour

And they do not take anything from anyone. When my brother was smart mouthed with the waitress, she said to him without a second thought, "Watch it!!!!!!!!!!" And after we were done with dinner, she sat down with us at the table and talked to us while flinging spitballs and napkins at our "cousins" in the other kitchen. It was great!!! Totally freaked out my nephews. They thought they would be asked to do the "I'm a little teapot" song!! They were very, very "afeared." The picture above is how they show you what the desserts are. They give you a Viewmaster will 3-D pictures of the desserts. And they are YUMMY!!!!

Today we are going to Downtown Disney to do a bit of shopping, then EPCOT for dinner, and off to the Magic Kingdom till 3AM. Resort Guests have a deal where they can stay at the parks 3 hours after they close for exclusive magic opportunities! I LOVE THIS PLACE!!! J.P. signing off for now!!!!!!! TTFN!

Class is OVER....So what am I going to do now?

I'm going to Disney World!!!!

Sharkey and I have a very early morning tomorrow. We have a 7:55am flight, so that means we need to leave our house by 5:30am. The things you do for Mickey!!!! Sheeeesh!!

So you may have noticed that my posts have decreased in frequency. Most of that is due to my grad course. Now that it's over, you'll see a lot more posts from this point on. Man that course just totally sucked!!! I felt like an undergrad again. There were 10 chapters of text, two exams, two papers and a final project that were assigned all within 7 weeks. Not sure how many of you have ever taken graduate courses, but they are hardly ever that intense. My first class in resuming grad school has just totally demotivated me enough to take the summer off and go back for fall classes!! Yay me!!! You know it wouldn't have been so bad if the final project wasn't so brutal.

We had to present a prospective company to the professor as if he were the CEO of an investing company. Our group was the first to go last night. He tore us up!!!! Question after question, on definitions, on interpretations, charting, corporate policies, and on things totally unrelated to the scope of the class. On top of that, he was the timekeeper of our presentation and told us we had 7 minutes left to present what we all knew would take 15 minutes. Of course that 7 minute mark he gave us was right at the time yours truly was up to do his part. I think though that the main thing I was feeling at that time last night wasn't panic, it wasn't stress, and it wasn't anxiety, it was outright ANGER!!!! I was very, very mad because the timekeeping he did was total bullshit!!! We had practiced the presentation 3x to get it to 30 minutes on the dot. We were allotted 40 minutes max, and we had that well in hand. I was also pretty mad because one of my team members who was getting grilled by the prof early on gave away our position 10 minutes into the presentation because they lost it and reverted back to student teacher mode!!! Now that was a total FUBAR, because you have to understand the structure of our presentation was to make our case, then state the position last for dramatic effect. So that person gave away the farm 10 minutes in, which blew our big effect, so BIG DUH for them!!!!! THEN on top of that, the same person said to me when I got up to speak not just once, but twice, "JP, skip your slides and move to the conclusion." So here's my dilemma, do I honor that request and keep within time, which I know is total b.s., or do I present my piece the way I'm supposed to, so we can keep building the case and stick with the script we agreed to use? I decided to do my part as rehearsed. I felt I put the time into it, I developed it, I knew it cold and most of all I had the right to present it. So I decided I would fight tooth and nail on the timekeeping if I needed to do that. So "Annoying Clueless" team person got the JP HAND in the face and I did my full part and we finished. If I ever had need of the portable "JP Slap-o-matic" it was last night!!!

Well to make a long story short, we scored a 90 on the presentation. Apparently, he was hard on us because we were first group, in order to set the tone for the next 5 groups and put the fear of God into them all. Isn't that just lovely?? Anyhow, that score gives me about a B+ to A- in the course. I think that last night was less about presenting an investment opportunity, and more about testing personal character. I am very glad that I did not compromise mine.

Why Do Birds....

So I've been starting to use the grill more. The temp outside is increasing, the sun is out and the birds are singing. Everything is right in the world. Well everything, but this....


It seems I have a new tenant. This bird has somehow decided that my grill is a great place to build a new home. Sure the property is off a cul de sac, and the deck is Fiberon, so you'll never have to treat or sand it, but I don't think she realizes how hot it's going to get. And you'd think that the bird would sense that many of its cousins, the chickens, have met a marinated char-grilled demise in this new location.

Next post.... Man vs. Bird... (ding...ding)

Did you ever just want to...

Now I consider myself a patient guy. I try to be nice. I try to do the right thing. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But there are times when certain people just really annoy me. It takes a lot too! But lately I've been running into many of these people for some odd reason. The universe must be out of balance or something. You know who I'm talking about. The people who cannot buy a clue. And when I talk about clueless I mean individuals that cannot see why 1+1=2 or cannot figure out what to do next because that would require independent thought or cannot see how their actions may negatively impact others. People who are not accountable fall into this category and I'm sure you all have your fair share of them at work, in school, at the mall or maybe even in......(gasp)....your family!!!!!

My friends, I think I have a solution to this problem. I've watched American Inventor on ABC for a couple of weeks (man is that chubby judge soooo annoying..) and I think I have an invention I'd like to present to them. My invention is called the Phone Slap-O-Matic. With this handy, dandy device, if the person you were talking to on the other end of the phone were really clueless, all you would have to do is push a button on your end of the phone. After depressing said button, a great big hand would extend from the other person's phone and just give them a good whack across the face (SEE DIAGRAM BELOW):



Think of the practical applications! Thousands of frustrated individuals would get instant satisfaction. Millions of meaningless conversations could be ended. There would be no more telemarketing. It could very well save civilized society as we know it.

Q-Link

Anyone that really knows me will tell you that I have a lot of one liners. I take things from movies, TV shows and insert them into conversations as appropriate. Some of my favorite one liners come from various movies like The Princess Bride, Back to the Future, The 40 Year Old Virgin and TV shows like The Sopranos, The Simpsons, and The Office. They are true "JP Jargon." Some of them come off with attitude, like my saying, "Retail is for suckers!!" But there are some lines which make fun of me directly, and I'm OK with that because let's face it, if you cannot make fun of yourself, you are just livin' a way too freakin' serious life!!! Which brings me to this JP Jargon line,

I'm a sucker for marketing

Yes it is true. JP falls for every bit of marketing out there. I believe all of it like a wide eyed child. I graduated Summa Cum Laude in Applied Mathematics. I am able to rip apart servers and solve myriads of data and software issues. Yet for all of my intelligence, I'm taken in like a hypnotized, babbling idiot by marketing. I get an MP3 player, the manufacturer later introduces a new one in blue with the exact same features as the one I have 6 months later, and hey I gotta get one of those new blue ones!!!! OK, I'm not that bad, but I'm bad enough to drive Sharkey up the wall at times.

But there is one bit of marketing that I've fallen for lately that I'm totally not ashamed of, and that's my Q-Link necklace. As you know I'm a golfer. If you know any golfers they'll tell you that it's a 90% mental game and 10% physical game. I knocked 5 strokes off my handicap last year by just improving my mental game and by doing better course management (and another 5 by improving my swing). Yeah, yeah I know, to everyone who doesn't golf, this all is sounding like the Charlie Brown teacher, (bwaaaa, bwaaaa, bwaaaaa, bwaaaaaa). Well anyway, one of the guys I golf with told me about this necklace he read about that is supposed to help relieve stress, give you better focus, and help "tune" your body. PGA golfers wear it and aren not paid to endorse it. The necklace was called a Q-Link. The Q-Link is this small 1" pendant. It has a copper coil that is wound around an SRT (sympathetic resonance technology). Supposedly, it tunes the biofield your body generates to optimum. The concept is that since we are bombarded daily by EMF from TV, computers, cell phones, etc. our bodies become unbalanced and the Q-Link helps to restore the balance.

Now I have to admit, I was very skeptical. This whole thing sounded like snake oil at the local carnival. So I did some research, and then some more research, and then tried to find unbiased reviews. The typical things that JP does on a "Hunt." Surprisingly I couldn't really find anything bad about it. The manufacturer of Q-Link, Clarus, offers a 90 day money back guarantee on it and this is the 2nd generation Q-Link. On review boards, I was reading how people thought their sleep was deeper and more restful. Other golfers said they weren't sure what it did, but whatever it was was making a difference in their games. People dealing with cancer said it helped with the stress they were dealing with. The thing even won best of show at the PGA's 2005 trade show. And then my friend who originally told me about it bought one. He wore it for 2 weeks and I saw a real change in his personality. It was freaky. A lot of the stuff that would just set him off before just rolled off. And I know what you're all thinking, placebo effect. Right? If you believe it works, then it works. Well from what I've seen and read I had to try it. So of course I went and bought one. But again, "Retail is for suckers!!!" so I found a deal on one. So I've been wearing it for about a month now and you know what? It works. It totally works. I'm like the others in that I have no idea what it does, but it does something. My sleep is different than before. It is a lot more restful and when I wake up I feel like I can rocket out of bed ready for the day. Totally not like the comatose JP of before. And I cannot seem to leave it off for very long. I even forget I'm wearing it. I'm more focused and it seems to help with the stress quite a bit. The only time I don't wear it is when I shower. It's sort of like homeopathic crack maybe? Sure it could be all in my head, but I'm not returning it for my money back and I would recommend it to anyone to give it a go.

Easter, is it all in the egg?

So we are fast approaching Easter. I do like Easter. It seems like a great time for new beginnings. Everything is warm, green, alive, colorful, and blooming! It is the time of year that all those people you never see at church on the weekends come to service. You know the people I'm talking about. They are the people who only show up for the majors: Christmas Eve and Easter. And as everyone knows, the food on those holidays far surpass the piddly meals you have in between.

And that brings me to my main point. This is the only time of year you can get The Cadbury Creme Egg.

I cannot think of a more appropriate piece of candy to mark a holiday. It's way better than the colored Easter Eggs. It's funny, Sharkey and I each get at least one of these every year. Let's face it, Easter just would not be the same without this candy. Now I know some of you probably think it is one of the most disgusting things out there, but come on people, where can you get an egg shell of chocolate that encompasses a white and yellow center? It's like one of the most artistic candies there is. Way better than a freakin' Zagnut? What is a Zagnut anyway? Anyone ever eat them? If so what the heck is in a Zagnut?

So all I have to say is, "Thanks Easter Bunny!! CLUCK!!! CLUCK!!!"

JP Sidebar Thought: Remember coloring Easter Eggs when you were a kid? Well what the heck do you do with the 2 dozen colored eggs after Easter has passed? No living human being could consume that much egg salad without serious digestive issues to follow. I think for the trashman it's probably one of the worst holidays because he carts about 12 tons of nasty eggs to the local dump, and that has to be oh so pleasant. He's probably wanting to kill the person whoever thought up the idea of coloring eggs was a wonderful, festive thing to do.

The Smoking Monkey

I was talking with my good friend ChicagoCherie today. We were doing some reminiscing of the past. Specifically, we were talking about things we used to do when we were very little. I can remember my first family vacation. I was about 3. Yes it's true, I do remember. We were leaving home and all I could say was, "I want to go home, I want to go home." I have two older brothers, and when I started carrying on in the back seat, they both looked at me like I was nuts. They were both very afraid that I would convince Mom and Dad to turn around. So they employed the bribery tactic. At the first rest stop, they pulled their money together and bought something to get my attention and distract me from my "I want to go home" antics. My friends I give you the ultimate distraction for a three year old.....

The Smoking Monkey!!!!

Taaaaaaaaa Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

This baby is guaranteed to amaze the mind of a child. I'm not sure why, but it seems there's just something hypnotic about a small monkey burning one, lighting up, taking a deep drag. Not sure why but it totally worked on me. It could have also been the cheap, aromatic cigarettes it came with that smelled of bad Buddhist incense overpowered my 3 year old underdeveloped lungs and made me loopy. Maybe they were early attempts at aroma therapy for kids?

Sure the PETA people would find this offensive and would most likely pie me in protest; the American Lung Association would not allow kids to play with such a carcinogen based toy today, but I really think for its time, circa 1972, it was a good, wholesome kids diversion. Think about it, everyone who was someone lit up back then. Why not timid jungle creatures? They have stressful lives too ya know.

The Hunt

It's all about the "Hunt." Do you know what I'm talking about? The "Hunt" is where you decide for some reason unknown to man that you want something. It could be a piece of clothing,


a pair of shoes,





a hat with a certain logo on it,

a new/sweet electronic device,

a new set of golf irons,

Pssssst..... The "Hunt" is currently on for these.... =)











a new car,


or a golf gizmo that's guaranteed to take 10 strokes off your game,

Now once you've acquired the target, the "Hunt" begins. You research the heck out of the item. You view it from every possible angle. You see what it does well, what color it comes in, if the size fits you, if it does everything you think it can do. You read countless reviews on the internet. You stalk the item and check it out at the local merchants. You think of all the possibilities, you see if the size fits you, you swing it around a few times, you think about how it will change your life or make things easier for you for what you have planned for it. You look at internet retailers for prices, search for special sales and discounts, because as my wife, Sharkey, will tell you, one of my favorite lines is, "Retail is for suckers!!" And then once you have cornered your prey, then you have the moral dilemma, "Do I or do I not pull the trigger??"

You know the "Hunt" has become more difficult since I've taken my marriage vows. I pulled the trigger lots of times before when I was a party of one, but now I just find it increasingly difficult to pull that trigger without thinking and talking to the Sharkster. Sharkey often asks me why I need certain things. My reply is the same every time, "It's totally not about need Honey, it's all about want." But as anyone who has participated in the "Hunt" will tell you, once you've pulled the trigger, things afterwards are never as exciting as when you were on the "Hunt." So the solution to that my friends is simple... on to the next "Hunt." Good hunting all!!!!

Back to School

Well, I finally overcame the inertia and resumed my Graduate studies to get a Master's of Information Science (MIS). Yeah!! Go Penn State!!


Education is never a bad idea. Especially when the company you are working for is footing the bill for it! I'm planning to learn all I can about proper project management and then guess what time it is? That's right people, it's time to implement project New Job!!! Right now I'm learning everything I never wanted to know about Financial Accounting. The wife says it's good for me. I don't know. It's numbers, it's somewhat interesting, so I suppose it's fine. Maybe it'll help me to gain perspective on investing. Or maybe it'll make me just dangerous enough to make awful financial decisions.

With the way things are going right now, it seems a lot of the technology jobs are being exported overseas. That's bad news for people like me. I have a Bachelor's degree in Applied Mathematics and Microsoft Certification, MCSE, MCSA. I can administrate servers, I can build databases, move data from here or there and manipulate almost any piece of hardware to do what it was and was not designed to do. However, with all these skills, companies seem bent to not pay to have a talented U.S. based IT department anymore and are outsourcing and worse yet shipping jobs overseas. It's really sad too, because there are good people I see getting nixed out week to week. And let me tell you something about the outsourcing, it SUCKS!!! Not just the concept, my experience with the outsourced IT companies hasn't been great:

Example1:

JP: OK Mr. Customer I need a backup of your data to convert?
Customer IT: What Data?
JP: The data you contracted my company to convert for you?
Customer IT: We contracted which database?
JP: The database on your server. You're the admin right?
Customer IT: Yes I have full admin access to everything.
JP: OK, let me walk you through X, Y, and Z to get a backup.

(5 very painful hours later.........)

JP: OK, when I tell you to, depress the key
Customer IT: I'm not sure where that key is can you direct me?

Example2:

JP: OK, Tbormajinbo can you tell me where you sent the file?
Tbormajinbo: Meaning to FTP server
JP: OK so you sent the file to an FTP server?
Tbormajinbo: Pleasing to help, sent there file one zour zince
JP: OK so you sent it in about an hour ago
Tbormajinbo: Else anything do to wiss yu?
JP: Nope that should do it....

Now maybe it's just me, but can companies see a problem with these situations? If I were not the patient guy I was, example1 could easily piss me off greatly. And as for example2, what the F!!!! Speak coherent English damn it!!!! How the hell did you ever manage to fill out the job application? And whoever hired you, what the heck were they thinking, and I totally never want to meet them?!!? Do sign language, draw me a stick figure, throw me a bone people!!!!

The End ...... For now...

Disneyworld or Bust!

Disneyworld... Disneyworld...Disneyworld!!! Yeah I'm going to Disneyworld!!!! The countdown to Orlando has begun. I've always loved Disneyworld. I'm not exactly sure why. Could it be my Japanese genes kicking in? Could it be that I am a 6 year old in a 36 year old body? Could it be the flashing lights and the marketing? Hum.....

Wait. That's all not true. I know exactly why I love it. Being there helps remind you of the good that once existed everywhere in our society. It embodies the good and the innocent times gone by. It invokes memories of family vacations and trips with brothers and sisters who were high on soda pop and candy while watching parades go by wide eyed. It reminds you that with imagination, determination, and laughter anything is possible. It allows you to forget about your "normal" life and refresh your mind. It's the ultimate land of Fantasy and Make Believe. Yes I'm a big fan of the Mouse. It's one of the places in this world where I've found that I can totally relax and recharge the batteries. It makes sense being there, and it really is "Where Magic Lives."

My family went there often on vacation. I proposed to my wife there right before the fireworks went off at Cinderella castle. If we ever have kids, we'll take them there often. And if you've never been, give it try and tell me what you think.

HD Radio ... It really does exist

So I was looking through the Sunday Philadelphia Enquirer and found an article on HD Radio. I listen to BEN-FM locally, and I always hear the J. Peterman guy from Seinfeld talking about broadcasting in HD radio, but I always thought it was just a bit. As it turns out, there is HD Radio and the local stations are quickly picking it up to compete with satellite radio. The only catch I see is that you have to buy equipment, like the HD Boston Acoustics, to pick up HD Radio:




But once you purchase the HD radio equipment, unlike satellite radio, it's FREE!!! What a deal!!! I just may have to see about this new technology....