George Foreman Grill and Water

George My New Best Friend...

So my Mom bought this simple kitchen appliance for Sharkey and me about 2 years ago.



Now I know you know what it is. Unless you've been living under a rock you recognize the George Foreman Lean Mean Grilling Machine. When my Mom gave it to us I thought to myself, "What the heck am I going to do with this thing?" So it survived 2 garage sales and it occupied a small corner of the kitchen to be forgotten. Well that was until this past weekend. See Sharkey has requested we eat a bit better. Less fat, lower calorie, etc. So I found a good recipe for a California Panini and decided it was a good start. It has shrimp, avocado, beefsteak tomato, and a Dijon/mayo dressing. See if you didn't know or if you need some reminding I am the cook of the family. So healthy requires a bit of prep, because it typically involves vegetables, but for a panini, you need a sandwich press. So I was thinking how to simulate a sandwich press. I first thought of using my gas grill and then just flipping the thing, but then I knew that the sides really need to be heated simultaneously, so then I started thinking about what else I could use. Hey!!! I have one of those George Foreman grill thingy's I wonder if that would work? Let's fire that baby up and give it a go! So I give you the California Panini:



The little grill worked pretty well. 4 minutes and you have a hot little tasty sandwich. It worked so well in fact that tonight I made grilled strip steak sandwiches with provolone (cheddar for Sharkey) and onion. So the little, forgotten grill has become JP's favorite new kitchen gadget.

That's Some High Quality H2O...

I drink a lot of water at work. Typically, I'll down like 32-48 oz. in a day. But I've had a bit of a problem, because I put ice in my water and that of course makes the container sweat, so when I tilt it to take a sip, I usually end up with many water spots on my shirt and/or on my pants. And let me tell you, nothing says IT Professional like a man who looks like he pissed his pants...

So to remedy this problem I found this water bottle with a built in straw. It's pretty sweet and look Ma, no more wet pants!!!

Horse Play? How About Face Play?

So we were in Minnesota lately to be with the family. And while it was a sad time, it was also a great time to be with the fam' and play with the kids. Sharkey's namesake also had a good time playing with Sharkey's face. See for yourself...

Wired? Oh YEAH!!!

So we are off to Minnesota to attend services for Sharkey's Grandpa who passed away early this morning. I was able to get off of work to help my sweet wife out and I'm glad to do it, and glad my company really supports their employees. I do what I can. And we just finished a 450mi. drive from PA. I'm a bit wired on a Starbucks Grande Mocha no whip, so I figured I'd fire off a quick post then hit the sack. So here I am driving tonight post Starbucks.... Caffine!! It builds a body good!! 2nd 1/2 of the drive tomorrow YEAH!!! JP OUT!!!

Pillow Talk and Singing Dogs

So I have a problem. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who has this disorder, but I have a sleeping issue. I do not talk about it much, but it does exist, I cannot deny it, and I have to face it and it feels darn good to write about it and get it out in the open. See I mangle pillows. I destroy them. Actually I squish them like pancakes. They can be feather pillows or synthetic pillows. They can medium or firm. They can be pretty much any make. It really does not matter. Because as fluffy as they are when I buy them, they all end up flat, like 2" to 3" flat within 2-3 months. I think maybe my head may weigh more than the average person, or maybe it just stays in one position all night. Or perhaps my head has its own gravitational field that crushes all nearby objects. Not sure the reason, but any pillow I have ends up the same way. So I decided to try to get some help from NASA and I'm going to try this baby out, the Tempurpedic Millenium Pillow:



So if viscoelastic polymer cannot do the trick, well, I guess I need to just deal with pancake bedding

OK, on another note, did I ever tell you that I not only have the cutest dog in the world, but she also can sing. True story. Check it out... "Sing Maggie Sing..."

Vacation Stuff... Better Late Than Never

Haven't posted in a while. I've been in one of those, "I have really nothing to say" moods. So I decided to finally take the photos off my little Canon camera and share with you all. So here are some pictures and a video from our vacation to Emerald Isle, NC.

On Sunday (the 2nd day of our excursion), Sharkey and I met up with my old boss and her husband, who are pretty good friends of mine. She a GRIT (girl raised in the south) and we remain good friends even though I do not work for her anymore and they live in NC. Actually, the funnier part is her husband and I talk almost every day via e-mail. We have become pretty good friends and share a lot of the same things in common (i.e. golf, clothes, jobs, etc.). Anyway, we met them for dinner in this quaint little town called Beaufort. It has little shops and some pretty cool restaurants. We decided it was worth taking a day trip back there and walk around during the week we spent at Emerald Isle.

We came across this cool ship building place:



It was pretty neat. You could sign up to build a ship hull with authentic ship building tools:



Pick a hull, any hull...




Here's a nice picture of Sharkey basking in the vacation glory:



We were at this dockside bar overlooking the water. We could see boats coming in and out. The bar was an "interesting" little place. It scared Sharkey's eyes!!! Fortunately we just had drinks there and no food was consumed.

We really enjoyed the beach and we are thinking we will go back again. It may become an annual thing for us. The water was just awesome and we really liked the area, the quiet, and the beaches were very nice too.

And finally I give you Maggie's first time on the beach. Does she like it? Does she hate it? You decide:

Wanted Mickey Hat & Callaway Sunglasses

All this week Sharkey and I are basking in the sun on the North Carolia coast. Today was beach day#1. I was just making my way out into the ocean and walkin through the waves. The first wave hits and I figured no problem. The second wave hits and I lose my Mickey Mouse hat. No problem. I just reach forward, grab it , and put it on my head. See that's where I "should have" learned a valuable lesson. So the third wave hits, which was about 2-3x larger than the first two and off go the hat and off go the Callaway sunglasses. The hat I can do without, but the sunglasses, well, it still tears me up a bit to know they are floating away in the Atlantic somewhere. So I'm off to comb the local golf/surf shops for some new specs. Because as we know JP does not skimp on the eyes or the feet!! Sharkey is rolling her eyes, but she understands and accepts my quirks!! So if you see a red Mickey Hat w/ a Mickey Golf Pin attached to it and a tortise pair of Callaway specs, drop me a line would ya?? ;)

A Day In the Life of JP

Sharkey is off traveling so I'm back to doing my own thing for a few days. My first order of business, the Transformers movie:



The movie was awesome!! There was a lot of action, decent dialog and Autobots and Decepticons!!! Yeah I know it's a geeky thing, but I'm Japanese. I appreciate gigantic robots that can turn into cars and airplanes. It's "my people's" culture and my genes cry out to me so I try to "represent" when I can!! Optimus Prime RULES!!!!



On another note, since Sharkey has taken over the household camera equipment and MacBook, I thought I'd take back something for myself so I ordered my own camera yesterday. It's a Canon Powershot A550.



It's perfect for me. You point it, it autofocuses you press the little button. 7.2 Megapixels baby!! F-Stop who?? Exposure what?? Nah all I need is to point it, center the image, then BAM!! Done. It's all I need for my BLOG and for my eBay sales. And Sharkey Honey this camera is mine. Hands off!! See Sharkey says I can use the Nikon D70 whenever I want, but truth is when I turn the thing on she has changed the settings on it so much I'm like a caveman trying to create fire when I try to take a picture with it. "ME NOT ABLE TAKE PICTURE...UGG.."

Finally, I discovered another "gift" or "talent" that I have. I have realized recently that I pretty much ALWAYS choose the wrong side of all automatic doors I walk up to. Here's a picture to explain my latent ability:



You think I'd get frustrated by this? Oh no, pretty much now when it happens I just laugh. The other day, Sharkey noticed I had this problem with doors and just laughed at me. If that ain't love what is??

JP out...

How's Work You Ask?

So I'm in week 3 of JP's new gig. I am still in training. My new employer has a pretty sweet "break in" period for new employees. So I started mid June, but I won't get my first project assignment until late August mid September. One of the biggest things I have to get used to is going in and seeing happy people. I am just totally not used to that. Needless to say though it is a refreshing change.

I was in a new hire class today with 15 other "new" employees. The thing is the new company I work for pretty much does not typically hire outsiders like me I found out recently (which makes JP feel pretty good about himself for now [wink]...[wink]...), but hires a lot of college graduates. So as you can expect, I was the only guy in my class who was not fresh out of college. I was also the only representative from my department in the class as well.

So being the only person from my department, the class instructor asked me to tell everyone what my department does, what the projects we do look like, and how my role fits in with their role. So at first I was like, "Um, Dude, I've only worked here for like 7 days, are you kidding me!!??" But that would be unlike me, so I stepped up and I actually was able to adequately describe what my department does, using the corporate "lingo" I've been trying to master since day 1, and relate how my role impacts what they'll be doing.

So things are going well. I'm feeling like I am starting to "get it," and I really am looking forward to my first assignment... "JP should you choose to accept it...this BLOG will self destruct in 10 seconds....."

Running for the Hills!!

So I am a golfer. Big surprise, right? Everyone who knows anything about me knows I love being out there hitting the little white ball around. I play in a league and I play every Thursday after work. Today was one of those "iffy" weather type of day. Mid 80's, about 90% humidity and severe warnings in place for pop up thunderstorms. So I'm out there in a match with a guy who is way better than I am, and I'm actually doing pretty well. I was up 2-0 on him in the match with 6 holes to play. Well that's when the bolt of lightning hit the fairway next to us, the thunder sounded immediately, and then the heavens opened up and dumped all of the water equivalent to the Atlantic ocean on us. I was packing my 40" umbrella which I immediately opened up, but once I see lightning, especially where it came down, I beat feet back to the clubhouse. I looked like this.



That's pretty scary. Like mortal danger, fear scary. Now being the math guy I am I know the chances of getting struck by lightning is equivalent to winning the lottery, but still I tend to have that kind of luck, so I just keep trucking and don't look back.

So the match was called, and I went home drenched from head to toe. I walked into the house and peeled off my sopping wet clothes next to the washing machine and I left water marks on the floor as I went upstairs to get dry clothes. I toweled off my bag, shoes and clubs when I got home.

Hot, Hot, Hot...

It's hot in PA. Really hot. You know how they say we are 80-90% water. I think after being outside for a few minutes we become 50-60%. Yep hot. Ass kicking, bat you in the crotch hot. It's been mid 90's with really high humidity in Southeastern Pennsylvania for the past 2 days. And the sad part is, even when the sun goes down it's still like 84 degrees outside.

I went to the driving range tonight to hit a few and as I was standing on the grass tee box I heard a rumble and I turned around and saw a pretty nasty, dark cloud coming in fast. I picked up my stuff and headed into the covered area of where I go hit. There's just something about a thunder storm with lightning strikes that does not mix too well when you are packing 14 metallic clubs on your back and holding a piece of metal that is akin to a lightning rod. And I love me some golf, but not enough to mess with the acts of God outside.

So no sooner I get under cover that it starts coming down in buckets. And the lightning is flashing, and the wind is gusting. It was like a scene from the perfect storm. I was pretty happy at that point to be under cover.

This weekend we are meeting Sharkey's sister Character Builder and her family in the District of Columbia. I took off Mon&Tue to hang with the family. Good thing for me I negotiated that time off before I started the new gig. And fortunately the weather should be pretty nice by then. Mid 80's and sunny. Because let's face it folks, nothing says "fun" like walking about the capitol when it's unbearably hot with young kids!!!

The Routine

So now that I have to commute to work every morning like 90% of all Americans I have had to change my daily/nightly habits a bit. Before, since I could roll out of bed at 8:25AM and then take a one minute commute in my PJ's and bunny slippers to my office to work there really was no need to do anything the night before but stay up until 1:00am. Now things are way different. I'm getting back into the swing of things, so I have had to change my routine a bit. Now I'd say I'm dead asleep by 11:45pm, and like the boy scout I am, I make sure the clothes I need for the next day are washed and pressed and ready to go.

So it's up at 7:00AM and a quick 15 minute shave, constructive "product" placing in the hair, and brushing of the teeth. Then I grab something to eat, kiss Sharkey good bye. and out the door by 7:45AM I go with my thermal mug filled with coffee, cream and 2 sugars. The drive isn't too bad. I'm estimating it takes 35 minutes in the morning and 35 minutes in the afternoon for me to drive back and forth to work. Here's the JP before and after shot:



As sad as this sounds, I enjoy actually running out the door to go to work. Having worked totally virtual for the past 3 years, it actually feels like I'm a "grown up" going to a real job. Now I know that I did have a real job before, but there's just something that changes when you have to get up, get dressed, and I mean "dressed" and run out the door. I expect this perception to wear off eventually, but for now I'm enjoying it and it is an unexpected benefit. I think the self esteem took a little boost with the job change. I think a big part of that feeling is that I'm going to be really challenged in this new position and it's going to require me to work to be "The Man" again. And I'm pretty pumped to prove myself and to see how much I can learn/do. And I have no misconceptions on what I need to learn. There's a totally new business, with a new corporate language and tons of acronyms I need to become familiar with. So they say in 9 months the light will go on in my head and I'll just get it all of a sudden. I'm hoping to do it in 6 or less! We will see!!

2 Weeks Are Up... Back to work!

It has been quite a while since I posted. Things have been quite busy and ever changing with me lately. I finished my job on June 1st. I set my computer to self destruct and handed it back to corporate IT. It felt good and like a big huge weight fell from my shoulders. I got that monkey off my back and not a minute too soon trust me! I shook the dirt off my shoes and I have not looked back yet!

Last week Sharkey and I took a short trip to Orlando. Specifically Disney World. Yes, JP loves Disney and all life changes happen at Disney (pssst..if you did not know, Sharkey and I got engaged at Disney), because it is where Magic Lives. Just ask them. Also, let's face it, when you drop the amount of money it requires to stay on Disney Property with park tickets and dining plan something magical better damn well happen! But still it was a lot of fun, we got a free room upgrade, had awesome food, lots of laughs and oddly enough, rumor has it that Character Builder's family is thinking of doing Disney in 2008? Do I hear BACK TO BACK DISNEY?!? =)

This week Sharkey and I took a road trip to Pittsburgh to attend the 1st round of the U.S. Open. The drive took about 4 hours, the hotel in Pittsburgh, the Holiday Inn Select at the University is surprisingly very nice. It's been just remodeled and the bed is pretty comfy. It is going to feel absolutely wonderful tonight! Here's the pass I had attached to my shirt for the entire day:



The day was absolutely perfect. No humidity, high 70's and perfect. The only drawback was we had to get up around 5AM. There were gobs and gobs of people there today too, even at 6AM in the morning, which was the time we made it to the US Open parking lot. It was interesting seeing who attends Professional Golf Tournaments. Mostly middle aged cigar smoking, beer drinking men. Sharkey was in the minority. And I caught a few of those bastards looking her up and down, but what the hey it made me feel good! =) It was equally fun watching the professionals hack it around at Oakmont Country Club. Now you know JP is an avid golfer and I have my ups and downs on the course like everyone else, but I never saw the pro's have similar issues to me. Granted, the course they played on today is infinitely harder than the ones I play, but it still shows hey they really are human. I found it funny that most of them look like guys I run into on the course every day. I also learned some great tips watching the pros that I plan to inject into my game.

So Monday play time is over and I start my new job! I'm pretty excited. I cannot wait to start a new gig and being the "new guy." I have one and a half days of corporate orientation, then get to meet my new team and start doing that thing that I do. New challenges, new opportunities, and a totally different industry. All I have to say for now is LIFE IS GOOD!!!!

Happy Hour - This Chapter Ends

And a new one begins. Tonight Sharkey and I went to a local microbrewery and met 10 of my coworkers. Some of them I've known for almost 10 years. It was a great time. We talked about when I was a wet behind the ears rookie, and then some others there know me as their mentor or their teacher. And those guys had their own stories of me as well.

So as I leave this job I've had for almost 10 years I look back and see how much I've changed and moved forward. How my journey has led me to this place. Along the way I met a lot of great people. Heck, I met my wife at work. That alone is the most important relationship of my professional career in my opinion. =) But it also makes me think how much I've changed to become the JP I am now. It was really a lot of fun laughing and talking about the "good old days" and the things I did myself and to hear how other people thought of me in the past.

And as fun as it was, I sit here and I have perspective. I am proud of the work I have done. I feel like I made a real difference for the company, for myself, and for the people I have met. And I can truthfully say with a clear conscience that I did the right thing with integrity and gave it everything I had every time. It was good work. As I move forward I'm excited and energized. I'm excited for a new opportunity, to learn a new business, and to continue to grow as an individual and make a difference again. 2 days to go....

Road Rage

So tonight I was off running some errands. These errands require me to go to various shopping places. So I'm driving, relaxed, life is good, I have the tunes cranking, and the weather is beautiful. And at that point that's where it all went wrong. This jackhole kid in an SUV pulls out in front of me and I almost crash into him. I hit the brakes, the antilock kicks in, and I do a quick look to the side and avoid hitting him from the rear by doing a left swerve manuver. I nail the horn and stay on it for a really long time. Now mind you I was actually traveling the speed limit and when he pulled out and initiated a right turn, he was at a light with a NO TURN ON RED sign.

Oh wait it gets better. Sure we all have lapses in judgement. We pull out when we shouldn't and we all do stupid things on the road. Those are called accidents. I get that. I understand that. I live that. So you feel apologetic, or embarassed, and you just move on and give the "I'm sorry wave of the hand" and sulk away. So when the kid completely stopped Mommy and Daddy's SUV in the middle of a 35 MPH zone and stretched out the window and gave me the "What's your problem Dude? You almost hit my Mom and Dad's SUV" look, that's when I pretty much lost it. I gave him the "Are you F'ing kidding me!!!!" look, the "Screw you rich kid!!!" hand waves and the "If you even get out of your parents' car I'm going to put you down like a sack of flour" stare.

So he finally drives away and I get to my destination and calm down and then I think about how I would want my kid to react if he did the same stupid thing. Because the fact that I almost crashed into the kid and that he made a bad judgement in turning is not what set me off. It is the entitlement, smart ass, non-accountable reaction I received after the fact.

The Home Stretch

I am 8 days from being unemployed and I'm LOVING IT!! Last week was pretty normal. Went to work, put up with the typical BS and did the day in and day out stuff. Squashed a few fires that came up, did the save the day Superman routine I'm accustomed to doing. This week however is totally different. I have entered the magical land of "INDIFFERENCE." It's amazing. Monday I go to work, I look up and totally developed "Short Timer's" syndrome in a matter of seconds of seeing the login screen. I've been disengaging from "work" conversations, I've hung up the Superman cape and have been responding to e-mail when I get around to it. See that behavior in and of itself tells you something, because you have to know when I'm working and an e-mail comes in I respond almost immediately.

I am a sounding board for a lot of people and they still call me to vent about what's happening here and there and what's wrong with this process, this person, etc. I'm sort of just listening, but I'm pretty relaxed. Again, indifferent. I still listen, but I just cannot get up any real energy into trying to make an effort to try to make a difference. I think I pretty much am in acceptance that "ATTENTION, ATTENTION,....JP HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!!!!" My stages of behavior sort of reminds me of the Robot Chicken Giraffe...



Next Wednesday is my big after work happy hour partaaaay... to hang out with my friends and coworkers, some of which I've known for almost 10 years. It'll be interesting to talk about "the good old days..."


HEROES Last Night....

Totally sad to see this was the last episode for the season. I really liked the ending although it was a bit predictable. Sylar got the crap kicked out of him by all the heroes. Sort of poetic justice since he killed so many of them and stole their powers. I'm on the fence if Nathan really bit it when he flew Peter up into the sky. I'm looking forward to the new season in the fall. And I saw that NBC is bringing back the Bionic Woman. No Way!!!! I'm waiting for Sanford and Son 2008 to make an appearance again. What's old is what's new again?

Sharkey's Party

It was exhausting, put together rapidly, but it was FUN!!! A great time was had by all. Sharkey and I were sitting on the couch last night and I looked over at her and said, "Honey, we have a 3 day weekend and nothing planned to do!!! YAY!!!!!" It was also fun covertly feeding her best friends pictures which they made into a Powerpoint show for Sharkey.

Resigned This Week

So as you know I resigned from my job on Tuesday. You know you go over in your mind exactly how you are going to approach a situation and you prepare yourself for all of the typical fallout questions that follow. Why are you going? Where are you going? Can we do anything to keep you here? What exactly compelled you to go? All typical questions you get from a job resignation. Well as much as you can prepare, there are some things you just do not foresee. Like when you tell your manager she starts to cry. Now I'm a professional, but geeze I just cannot stand it when someone, especially a woman for some reason, cries in front of me or because of me. So I do what I do best. I just try to be positive and make a joke of the entire thing. So eventually the crying stops and there's sort of an uncomfortable silence, then I'm like, "So... anything else? Can I go now? Pleeeeeeaaaaasssseeee...."

So Tuesday was interesting, but not nearly as interesting as when my team found out about my leaving. This happened at our weekly team meeting we had. It went something like this:

JP: Well guys I just wanted you to know I gave my notice this week.

Everyone: !!!!! SILENCE !!!!!!! 2 MINUTES

Everyone: !!!!! SILENCE !!!!!!! 2 MINUTES

Coworker1: Tears up, leaves room... 1 MIN 45 SECONDS

Coworker2: Is this April 1st by any chance? Please tell me it is...

Coworker3: I hope this is one of those nightmares you wake up from and then are relieved it was only a dream.

JP: Um, er, um, I'm not quite sure what to say, only it's been an honor and you will all be fine. You're all strong individuals, great professionals, and I know the work we've done TOGETHER will go on without me.

Everyone: !!!!! SILENCE !!!!!! 2 MINUTES

I'm telling you that's how it went down. And again my manager seemed to have the deer in the headlights reaction to what was going on exactly the same as when I told her on Tuesday. I so totally wished the meeting would have been moderated better. But I suppose I found out that day like Sally Field at the Oscar's, "They like me, they really, really like me." So like I said, you picture how it goes in your head, but unfortunately you cannot foresee how things will really play out, because let's face it people are NUTS!!!

But I do know one thing for sure. When I resigned and gave notice it felt...GOOD!!! Onward people, ever onward and upward!

Peeing on Command

So my new employer requires, along with several other things, that I pass a drug test to work for them. So today I took some time to go to the medical lab to get that done. So I'm waiting in the lab, and man there were some interesting characters there. And the lab people seemed to be totally "enjoying" being there as well. Although I have to admit, I think if I were dealing with other people's bodily fluids day in and day out, I'd probably have that indifferent attitude as well.

So my name is called. I go up, and the tech tells me to pick up this kit, open it, take the contents out, sign here, initial there and then hands me this cup. Actually it wasn't a cup. It was the size of a small farm trough. And it had this little black sticker about 1/3 the way up on it. She told me I had to fill it above the black sticker. So off to the restroom I go. So I'm there in the bathroom trying to get things going and nothing. I'm like, "come on JP you have to have something." Nothing... OK the anxiety starts to go up. What if I cannot fill it to the black line? What will they think of me? Will my name be placed on the wall of shame with the rest of the individuals who couldn't get it to the black sticker? Will I have to do it all over again? Will my new employer find out I failed to get to the black line? How can we hire a guy who couldn't make it to the black sticker? How am I going to explain this to Sharkey? I just want to get to the black sticker is that soooo hard!!! Come on!! It's the dumbest thing!! Come on JP, come on you can do it!! Of course all of these crazy thoughts shot through my head in the course of about 3 seconds time. I blame my mother for passing her crazy ass anxiety genes to me. So I took a deep breath, then just relaxed, everything starting flowing. I got out of there, handed the cup to the tech while looking calmly around and said in my cool breeze voice, "Hey, no problem, thanks!!" WINK! WINK!

JP's New Career

Tomorrow will be interesting. See tomorrow will be a life changing type of day for me. Because when tomorrow comes I'll walk into a meeting with my manager and resign from my current job. This has been a long time coming. I've known for a while that I've reached the end of what I want to do for my company. And it seems the company has reached the end of what they want to do for me, so a few months back I started the official job search.

My father always said the best time to look for a job is when you have a job. So I looked around where Sharkey and I live and searched for a good company where I could learn something new and have some great opportunity to be challenged and energized. There are great benefits in looking for a job when you have one. You can be picky in what you choose and when you interview there's really no pressure. You have nothing to lose and the world to gain. And going into the interviews I had ( and there were several trust me) my attitude was to be myself, to not oversell myself, and to give it all I had. I felt that if the company really didn't like me for me, then they weren't worth working for in the first place.

So today I accepted an offer from a new company. I'll work the rest of the month then I'll take a couple of weeks off to reflect and decompress, then I'll start the new job. Sharkey is very excited and happy about the entire thing. Almost as much as I am in fact. I'm looking forward to it. I'm REALLY excited to pursue this opportunity and I'm pumped for the new challenge. I think the adrenaline and the perpetual smile on my face for most of today tells the entire story. I think the feeling I have is equivalent to hitting a home run, getting a hole in one, or making that game winning touchdown with 10 seconds on the clock.

So with all great victories in life, what are you going to do now JP?

Well, it's simple, Sharkey and I are going to Disneyworld!!!!!

Marriage Tip #2: Some Questions Do Not Require Answers

Once you are married things change. Let's face it. You are no longer free to do a lot of the things you used to do when you were single. There are also things that you may have worn before that you cannot wear when you get hitched. Case in point, there are some things I put on to go "out" in where I think I'm styling and looking sharp and then I'll come down from the 2nd floor and Sharkey will look at me and say, "You are not going to wear that are you?" At this point, you pretty much have that deer in the headlights look, blink 2x with a blank expression on your face, then think to yourself, "Hey look there goes my self image out the window. Oh no I think it was just run over by that 18 wheeler truck and look now the street sweeper just sucked it up to go get recycled!!"

Now for all you guys out there who have been married 7+ years like me, we all realized after the 4-5th time our wives asked us this question to not answer her and to go back up and change. But for those of you who are new to this thing we call "love" remember, when the wife says this to you she is not trying to elicit any response from you other than the one which has you going back up the stairs to take off the outfit which she deems hideous (which probably honestly is) and scares her eyes to something that meets spousal approval. So here in lies another tip for you. The wife doesn't want to talk about the outfit, and you don't want to spend the time talking about why the colors and cut don't go together, just get your ass up and change your clothes.

My Talent

So we all have special talents right? I finally figured out what mine is today. Now a real talent would be to have a photographic memory or be able to do advanced math calculations in your head or have lightning fast reflexes. Mine is much more obscure. See no matter what market, discount center, home center, or outlet I go to I ALWAYS pick the most messed up, loudest shopping cart. I kid you not. When you hear a squeaking, wheels rolling on their sides, piece of crap cart coming towards you, that's the one I always pick. I've tried to be picky with the selection upon entering the establishment, but it never fails. Like 9 out of 10 times I always will pick the worst cart the joint has to offer... It's a gift I tells ya a gift!