Sunday, January 13, 2008

I Fix Things...

I am a problem solver. I always have been. Give me a hard problem and I'll find you a good answer. I cannot let any problem go either. I obsess over it. It's difficult for me to stop thinking about something until I have figured it out. I've prided myself with coming up with workable solutions for seemingly impossible problems. And the other truth about me is I like to help people resolve their issues. I have a good feeling when I can fix other people's issues. And when you can figure something out, lift someone up, and break some new ground that's never been touched, there's nothing else like it! I also think it is the part of me that identifies with heroic and iconic ideals. You know, you gotta be able to swoop in with the red cape and save the day!!!

But as practical and useful this skill I have is, it has limitations. Namely when it comes to health and personal issues. I learned some time ago that there are things I cannot solve or fix in either of those two arenas. cough.... Sharkey cough... cough... And it is when I'm faced with those things that I have found being a good listener and being available works the best. And for some reason it seems like I have been doing that quite a bit lately. In fact, 2008 has been kicking my ass!! That's probably why I haven't posted in a while either. I have had a lot going on and I've been trying to process it all and figure out what I should/could do for the people around me with these problems.

I have one person who lost his job and is the main bread winner for his family. So I've made a point to stay in close contact with him to make sure he has a sounding board, know I support and am here for him. I helped with what I could and tried to get some leads for him.

I have another friend who has been a father figure to me and was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. I had to cry a bit on that one, but once I got it together, I realized there were some things I could do to help. But I needed to reduce my schedule a bit. So I dropped a grad course this semester. So I'm helping, and I'm going to be there for my friend when he goes in and comes out of surgery and do a few practical things to make his world a bit easier.

And then there's my Mom, God bless her. She has been having a hard time lately. My Dad's been gone for 5 years now and she feels it. And when she feels it, I certainly feel it, because I get the call and end up being Dr. Phil for her for 45min to an hour. But I know she's doing the best she can and everyone needs to vent.

Dropping the class in hindsight was a good move. And it felt GREAT!! Reduction was called for in my life. I realized recently that I have been "on" from the time I get to work until the time I leave, because I still feel I need to show my employer my skills! I need to get a life!! I just need to accept it's what I do. I fix things.