Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Sound that Wakes the Dead

3:00AM - BANG!! CRASH!!???!!! The dump truck at the YMCA is emptying trash. Those guys should be shot for waking me out of a dead sleep. Well of course having the windows open doesn't help either, but it's been such nice weather you have to sleep with those windows open.

3:30AM - Almost asleep. ZZZZZZ Wait, what's that sound??? Sounds like a drain going gurgle, gurgle... That's no drain. What's that small shape on my side? The noise is coming from that... What the heck?? It's a small dog...Maggie Moo is puking in the middle of the night!!!

4:00AM - "Sharkey, I let Maggie out and Oxycleaned her McPukee spot next to the bed..."

4:23AM - Almost asleep... ZZZZZZ

6:24AM - Eyes open and JP hopes when he glances over the clock is at 5:05AM. NOPE, gotta get up at 6:35! Crap!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Water? What Water?


Sharkey- JP I think somethings up with the dishwasher
JP - Nah Honey it's fine I don't see anything wrong with it


Sharkey - JP I think the dishwasher leaked water on the floor last night
JP - Sharkey I think maybe it's just a spill from Maggie or when I was taking the dishes out. Let's give it another try tomorrow


JP - Sharkey I think there's something wrong with the dishwasher the hardwood l00ks wet
Sharkey - Yep

Tuesday Night at Lowes:

Salesman: Yes we have that Whirlpool in stock and we can install it within 72 hours.


Lowes: Yes Mrs. JP we can schedule that dishwasher to get installed shortly
Sharkey: Um, what about the guarantee you have for installation within 72 hours if the appliance is purchased Mon.-Fri.?
Lowes: Um, well, um, that's for other appliances, yeah that's the ticket, other appliances
Sharkey: No it's not. If you walk out of your office to appliances, that's advertised 2-3x above all the dishwashers and it is also on your website
Lowes: Oh, well, I'll have someone call you today


Installer: OK, all done she's ready to go.

JP: =)

Sharkey: =)

Friday, May 16, 2008

The TV at 3AM

Sharkey and I are on different sleep schedules now that I am not working virtual anymore and she is virtual. My Sharkey is a bit of a night owl, so it is not uncommon for her to go to bed at 1:00 AM or later. When she comes to bed, she usually will turn on the TV, put the sleep timer on it and drift off. One night last week I woke up to the TV on and showing some really, really bright show. I looked at my clock and it was 3:17 AM. I thought Sharkey had forgotten to hit the sleep timer, so I got out of bed went to hit the button on the front to turn it off, and when my finger got within 2 inches of the button, the damn TV turned off. Clearly Sharkey went to sleep around 2:17 AM. So I dropped some colorful metaphors lurched back to bed, put my arm around Sharkey and fell back to sleep.


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Whack a Ball in a Gopher Hole

It is that time of year again. The flowers bloom, the grass greens up, the days are warmer, the nights are shorter and I am out in search of perfection. I play that silly sport where you take a bunch of crooked sticks and try to get this tiny, hard, pock marked ball in a hole, while avoiding sand, water, trees, and high grass. It is my obsession. I started playing out as something I could do with my Dad to make him happy. Now I am hooked. I think about my swing. I work on my short game. I look at all the golf magazines. I wear the clothing. I watch it on TV. I spend countless hours at the driving range where the guys at the counter know me by my first name. I am like Norm from Cheers walking in there. I take lessons. I watch the Golf Channel. But what can I do? "Golfus Ergo Sum = I golf therefore I am." JP out....

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Meet the Bloggers 08'

So last night Sharkey and I went to meet more of her "internet" friends (aka bloggers). Sure I suppose I am a blogger, technically, since I have been writing posts monthly since 2006, but I do not really feel like I am part of the blog community. Mostly I think that's because I only read and comment on Sharkey, Kranki, Q's, and Character Builder's blogs with any kind of regularity. I haven't really gone out and found any more blogs that interest me. Maybe it's also because I am old fashioned in that I sort of think I should know someone before reading and commenting on their posts. Although I must admit meeting Q and the Hubs totally did not turn into the axe murderer, stalker, weirdo encounter I thought it was going to be, so perhaps I need to be more open minded.

The evening started out with Sharkey and I meeting Mainline Mom & her husband. We met at JB Dawson's in Plymouth Meeting for dinner. Again, like the Q and Hubs encounter, both of them were totally cool (no axe murderer, stalker, weirdo vibes detected) and dinner was yummy.

After we finished, it was off to location #2. William from Poop and Boogies had a role in a local community theater play, and Sharkey really, really wanted to meet William and see this play he was in, The Philadelphia Story. We get to the place and I think it is a renovated church building. It was pretty cool though. It had some great local art pieces and a portion of their proceeds go to charity, so hey win/win, right? We find some seats (seats are not assigned there) and wait for the play to begin.

Act I. begins. OMG!!! I was going cross eyed and was having issues focusing. It's not that the play was bad, but the dialog used references from the 1930's and it was going way, way over my head and I was having a hard time interpreting what the heck the actors were talking about? During this time, I was thinking, "I love my wife, I love my wife, I support my wife, I love my wife." Also during this time, my mind drifts a bit and I zone off thinking "I wonder if Sergio Garcia is still leading the Players tournament" and "I tee off at 8am tomorrow, I need to get my balls marked and into my bag before morning" and "I hope Tivo records my Battlestar Galactica episode tonight." (....WILLIAM IF YOU ARE READING THIS POST PLEASE DO NOT STOP HERE....)

Intermission hits and I go out get some water stretch the back and neck out and shake my head back and forth to get some blood flowing back. I give Sharkey the "No really Honey I am having a fine time" smile and then back into the theater we go. Act II starts and then something interesting and unexpected happened. I started to follow the dialog and really was getting into the depth of the characters. I was totally engrossed at this point and I started to think about how Tracy and Dexter's marriage was and how she totally was not right for George, and I wondered if Mike will see through all the superficial layers of Tracy. Needless to say I was enjoying the play at that point and William did an awesome job in the character of Dexter. The play ended and get this, I liked it so much, I was thinking I want to see the version with Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart and Catherine Hepburn.

We stayed a bit for a reception after the play. Sharkey and I were able to meet William and he is true to how he writes in person. He was freakin' hilarious. Sharkey and the others spoke their blogging language, traded ideas for future local gatherings and in short a good time was had by all. JP out...