Sunday, September 09, 2007

The Second Worst Day of My Life

Having read Soozieq's recent post on the crappy day she had, that got me thinking to what the equivalent day was for me. Well absolutely hands down the WORST day of my life was finding out Sharkey had breast cancer. But that event doesn't fit the bill of the kind of day Soozieq was describing. Her day was a series of one tragedy after another. Fortunately, ( well unfortunately for me)I have a similar tale to tell....

So this day happened oh about 6 years ago. Back then Sharkey and I had lived in PA just over a year. We still had the original Chlo-Dog too (Chloe. Sharkey called her Chlo-Dog). If you don't know, Chlo-Dog was the predecessor to Penny and our current cuddle dog Maggie. This is where our story begins.

See since Chlo-Dog was up in age, she didn't have the ability to hold her pee for more than 3-4 hours. So Sharkey and I took turns going home for lunch to let the dog out. So I'm zooming home at lunch and I get 1/2 way there and before I know it there's a township police man with his lights on in back of me. BAM!! Speeding ticket for $150. That wasn't the worst of it. Coworkers of mine were passing by while I was pulled over, so of course they honked, pointed, and laughed at me as they drove by.

So I go home at the speed limit, and I walk into the house and realize the dog isn't there wagging at me, happy I'm home. So I call the Chlo-dog and she comes sulking up to me with the "I'm sorry I did something really bad look" on her face. So I walk around and find there was a wonderful pile of puke on the carpet. WONDERFUL!! So I clean that up, grab a quick bite,then go back to work.

So I'm back to work and one of my wonderful coworkers decides to send me an e-mail on my minor infraction with the law to break my balls. So of course I try to laugh it off, even though I was pretty annoyed. So being the mature, sensible adult I am, I decide to use my knowledge of Information Technology for evil. I decide to send a LAN message to the person harassing me in e-mail. See the beautiful thing about doing that is the message pops up above all windows on the persons desktop, and they have to acknowledge the message by clicking "OK." You cannot ignore it and just get to it whenever you decide to like e-mail. It's annoying to a point and was perfect for this person. So I send a few messages, telling this person I'll get them, someday, when they least expect it, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon! I know, I'm such a menacing presence...

So later in the day I talk to that person to tell them I was just kidding and that I thought everything that happened was pretty funny when I sat back and thought about it. And I asked her, "Hey did you like the LAN messages I sent you?" She replied, "What messages, I didn't receive any LAN messages."

CCCCCCCCCRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPP!!!!

WORST DAY OF JP'S LIFE CONTINUES TO DAY 2:

So the next day, I get into work and about 9AM I get a phone call from corporate security. It seems that the user ID I keyed for my LAN message went to the wrong person. So I ended up freaking out a woman in Southern California, who thought someone was out to get her; so much in fact that she had to go home early. That's just great... So I talked with corporate security, fessed up to what I did (what? I couldn't deny it, right?) and then the guy thankfully laughed and told me just to make sure to not do that again. I said "Sure no problem, no more LAN messages, got it..."

So what did we learn here kids? Well, bad things seem to happen in 3's like everyone thinks. If the dog pukes, it's not the end of the world it's just puke (yeah honey it's a ripoff of your strudel line I know..). Township police speed traps are totally avoidable when you know where to look for the speed timing lines. And the #1 lesson is don't send LAN messages with people who have a really common last name (i.e. Smith, Brown, Johnson, etc.)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You scared a poor woman so badly that she went home EARLY?!?! Oh man. That is so bad...and yet so hilarious that it made me laugh as much as if you had said you slipped and fell in a Target parking lot.

I'm still super sore from pushing the SAPOC car, but my day today was SO much better than yesterday (today was my Niece's 2nd birthday party)

Ok, my word verification is WVNAKD...which made me think of "We're very naked"

Character Builder said...

Hee! I remember when that happened. It was really funny then, too!

Kranki said...

What a day. A seriously funny, crappy day. But way better than the worst day.

JP said...

suzieq, suzieq You are too funny!! The security guy I talked to was laughing about how the lady went home, so at that point I knew I was off the hook! So how naked is very naked?

cb Yeah, I can laugh now... But then I thought your sister would have to support us for a while...

kranki Way, Way, Way, Way better!