Tuesday, August 26, 2008

What Would You Tell Your Kid?

Today was beautiful. Perfect in fact. There are few days that compare to blue sky, sunshine, clear air, and high pressure. And the back is all better. I still don't go full at the ball, but that is also a good thing. But this post is not about my golfing, not about my back, not about the perfect day. It's about something that happened at the driving range when I was enjoying this day.

The place where I hit balls has a go kart track and miniature golf course. Where I practice sits in front of the path leading to the go kart track. Lots of times, families walk by and I overhear them as they go to the karts. Today, I overheard a family walking to the track and one of their sons thought it was great fun to make ethnic remarks at the Asian guy hitting golf balls. Yeah, me. So I heard things I've become somewhat, mind you only somewhat, accustomed to growing up: "Aaaa-soooo, ching-chong, chink, chung, wok-socky, chop-chop, hitty ball..." I think the thing that bothered me more than what the kid said was his parents reaction. Absolutely nothing. They did not bat an eye or say a word. The kid said this stuff all the way to the go kart track and after they were done, he said the same crap going past me. So this behavior was acceptable and normal for them I guess.

Now growing up, my parents helped us deal with all of that stuff as well. They learned from their parents all about the way people judge you on your looks more than what's in your heart. They probably had it worse because they lived through World War II and the Japanese internment camps. They taught my brothers and me to ignore ignorance and to transcend others by our actions and accomplishments. I have to admit what they instilled in us works well most of the time, but still after all this time, there are times I do not feel like being the silent American.

In time if Sharkey and I are blessed with a child, I will pass on the same things my parents taught me. The content of one's character matters more than their physical appearance. There will always be ignorance, but you will need to be better and take the higher road. And while you may encounter such individuals, there are more good people in this world who do what is right and have honor in their hearts.

So my question to you is what would you tell your kid?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have to say that I have never thought about it until reading your blog. I have always believed that bigotry is something children learn from their parents, and that my little guy would just grow up with good character. But you remind me, good character does not just happen and that I have to be deliberate in my parenting (like your parents apparently were for you).

Anonymous said...

JP I see this kind of hurtful behavior at the middle school, where I work. It is very sad that we have parents that tolerate or even encourage this way of thinking. Please keep in mind that these children are acting like this because they can. Most of the time, the kids don't have a clue that they are being very hurtful. The real problem is the parenting that they are, or not receiving. We know you, and know what is in your heart. You are a very loving, and caring man, who will some day make a very special dad. J&D in Minn

WILLIAM said...

We explain to our 4 year old that all people are different but the same. And the golden rule of treatothers as you would want to be treated.

How old was the kid making the remarks?

JP said...

JudePA I think it's a common parental practice today to let the child find his own path. Since I am not a parent yet, I cannot say if it's good or not, but I know that Mom & Dad always believed that setting consistent expectations, boundaries, and conduct were very important to raise us. And I didn't turn out so bad... =)

J&D Thanks for the love and support! It is sad. I think that's actually what troubled me the most last night. I was more sad for the kid and angry with the parents. Somewhere this kid picked it up, but the parents have no sense to say one word.

william I think you and Lauren "get it" and I am thankful that parenting like yours stems the tide from the Redneck parents out there! And this kid was like 10-12, so unless something happens to make him think I doubt he'll change his outlook on others.

Character Builder said...

Wow, I can't believe that the parents didn't say anything. No, I take that back. Unfortunately, I can believe it.

I'm trying to think how I would handle it if I heard one of my kids say something like that. I go back and forth between chewing them up one side and down the other, and calmly explaining why that is not ok. Fortunately, thanks in part to Uncle JP, I don't think the kids would be ignorant enough to say something like that.

Anonymous said...

I can only relate to this as an Aunt, but I would be LIVID if my Niece ever said something like that. Since her Mom and half of her extended family are Filipino, I'm hoping that would never come up though. But I guess that doesn't mean she might not make fun of other people though huh? Well I better get on that then....I can't be smacking my Niece's butt* in public for being rude and disrespectful, so I should start the talks first, right? ;-)

I have to say I'm actually surprised that happened to you. I don't consider myself naive, but apparently I am. I just thought this kinda b.s. was going away as we became more civilized. Guess I was wrong.

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* I do not swat my Niece ever. Just in case you thought I was being serious.