Nephews

I do not have any kids. Not that I do not want kids, it just has not happened for me and my wife. So the closest thing I have to my own kids are my nieces and nephews. It has been a blast watching them grow up and see them become the individuals they are today. There are times when I look at them and the decisions they make that are similar to some of the things that I did growing up. Some of them good and some of them bad.

Take my oldest nephew for example, J. J was a superstar in High School. Everyone knew him, everyone knew of him, he was loved by all. He goes to college thinking he's going to rule the school... Can you see the foreshadowing coming? So he gets to college and he finds out, he's just one guy in a sea of lots and lots of superstars. He struggled, tanked his classes, he has changed his major and living arrangements 2-3x in 3 years and then there's J's girlfriend. He dated a girl who was 1 year behind him in high school. So his first year in college he came home every weekend to see her. Recently I found out they argue more than a married couple going through counseling. This is the point where you just want to tell him, "Dude!! Wake up!! What are you thinking!" I sort of went through a similar thing when I did my undergrad where I had so much freedom and did whatever I wanted and had the girlfriend who I spent every waking minute with, that I could not finish my undergrad in 4 years. I talk to J from time to time and I think he is sort of amazed how I understand him. Heck, in some ways I was him. So I share the things I experienced and thought about when I was going through my college years:

The friends you make in college are some of the ones you have your entire life

You define yourself in college. And if you are trying to find out who you really are, you are not going to find it out by going home to Mom and Dad all the time

College is not a right, it is a responsibility. It is the first "job" you take on as an adult, so you need to make sure you perform, grow, and learn.

Some people can handle school, the girlfriend, and the social stuff. If you cannot there is no shame in it, but your priority must be the school stuff. Everything else will fall into place in its own time

I am sure J will work it out. He's a smart kid and has a lot of potential. It is just being Uncle JP that makes me want to prevent him from doing a lot of the things I had to do to get where I am now. But I suppose that's how we learn, not just by success, but also by adversity and even failure.