Bounty the Quicker Picker Upper

How do you know you have been married and affected by the person you have been married to for 6 years? You know when you stop by the local Target for paper towels and instead of doing the "man" thing and just throwing 2 random rolls of towels in the cart, you spend 5-10 minutes contemplating the "cute" patterns on the paper towels and looking for the right combination.

Yes living with Sharkey has definitely rubbed off. I realized that tonight. I find myself doing hospital corners on the beds, folding towels and sheets into distinct geometric patterns, and questioning my typical "JP" impulse purchases. You know I used to pull that trigger a lot more frequently pre-Sharkey. Now things go through my head..."What do I trade off if I get this? What will I have to give up later? Is there something better worth waiting for?"

Now mind you these are not bad things. They are just things you wake up one day and realize and end up saying to yourself, "What the heck!!!!!!!!"

Is it as good as you remember?

Remember the things you used to watch as a kid? Remember the things you used to eat as a kid? Since everything retro has come around and is brand new again it seems you get to retry some of those things that you had as a kid.

When Sharkey and I were in Minneapolis we went food shopping and Sharkey threw a pack of Razzles into the cart.



Remember Razzles? First it's candy, then it's gum. I liked Razzles as a kid. I have fond memories of them. Well let me tell you, nothing is ever as good as what you remember. This stuff was first sour sand, then it was purple vulcanized rubber.

Sometime I'll have to try Bottle Caps again:



I remember playing Little League baseball and chewing this stuff in the outfield:



One thing I think I may have to pass is the dip:

Fine...... Well, yeah fine...

Today I learned something new. I've been driving for about 20 years now. I think I am a decent driver. Sharkey and I just arrived home from Minnesota again and we logged about 2500 miles this last time around. We drove through 5 states in one day. There are some important things you learn on the journey: don't speed in Ohio, there are tons of state trooper speed traps; allow 2x the amount of time to get through Chicago; Indiana is the cruising state where you can go 80 MPH down the highway without being stopped. So I drove 2500 miles without incident and today I drove .25 miles and received a fine for not obeying a posting highway sign. Here is the deal, on the intersection right down the road from our house is a three way stop:



The stop signs are not right at the intersection. They are 10 feet back from the intersection. So what I usually do, which I won't be doing anymore, is stop a little after the stop signs. Well I don't stop right at the sign because you cannot see the traffic that's coming from the left and right. So the correct thing to do is to stop before the stop sign completely then slowly move up to the intersection before making the turn. I did what I normally do today and before I know it, there's a police car with flashing lights in back of me. So this little mistake in motoring is costing me $100, not a very cheap lesson at all. But I did get my money's worth.

Once the officer was done writing out the ticket and he explained to me the error of my ways I decided I needed more information. So I asked the following questions: So the stop sign, when there's no line on the pavement do you have to stop right at the sign or like 3 feet before the sign? Who do I make the check out to for the fine? What portion of the fine do I return, the whole thing or just a certain piece? What's the EMS stand for on the fine? Why's the fine $25 but the EMS is $10 and the MEDC is $35 and the other fees are $40? I figured if he's going to waste my time with the stop while he punches my info into the crime computer, the least I can do is to try to recoup some of my money that I'll going to pay the local government. I also found that it's interesting how many stupid questions you can ask someone as long as you seem sincere and have a smile on your face. I must have spent a good 10 minutes just asking dumb questions.

Why Is It?

No matter where I go people immediately tap me to fix their computer? Is it because I'm Japanese and that my genetic code predisposes me to be able to naturally figure out technical issues? I mean if you say that then you pretty much box me and say that I probably eat rice and raw fish. Well, OK, I do eat rice and raw fish, and for some reason I can figure out almost any technical issue presented to me. It is pretty funny though being the technical "go to" guy sometimes. I cite three examples to illustrate my point:

Case 1: 9PM, a mission from God....

So I go to plant my butt on the couch w/ a bowl of Edy's Fudge Tracks and watch some mindless show, like Smallville. The phone rings. "JP" the voice says. Immediately I recognize the voice. My pulse quickens, my throat goes dry, and that sinking feeling goes down my stomach. "Yes Pastor how can I help you." "Look my son I hate to bother you, but my internet is down, can you help me out?" Now you have to understand I'm not intimidated by the man of the cloth. Oh no. He and I are buds in fact. I joke around w/ him quite a bit. But what you have to understand that this man's computers do not act the way computers should. I have reformatted and rebuilt 2 of his machines, only to have them mock me and throw up intelligible error codes. I networked the church and have spent hours figuring out why the network went down and why printers are inaccessible. (OK, truth be told, the lightning that hit the church may have had something to do with that) So I get my sneaks on and out the door I go armed w/ my MCSE equipment ready for the next new challenge. I kiss Sharkey and the dog goodbye, because, well if history has taught me anything it is that this job will take a while. I get to his house, found his router jacked up, so I powered it off and on and was done in 5 min.!!!!

Case 2: The Family....

So every time Sharkey and I go to MN, I almost always make sure to pack a few items I may need. You know, MCSE stuff: Extra network cable, some CD's. Again, things usually play like this, "Hey JP good to see you....if you have some time can you take a look at...." So I have networked, hooked internet hubs, replaced OS systems, fixed DVD drives, and corrected some nasty system errors. Until recently I'd actually pack my MCSE CD's with me because I never knew what I might need, but now that both of Sharkey's parents have high speed internet, my need to travel with software has gone way down. So I pretty much have accepted this is the way things are, and hey I found my place in the family!!!!

Case 3: Dinner Tonight...

Sharkey and I went to dinner over one of Sharkey's friend's house. Over dinner, we talked about work. Her friend K'ren happens to work in IT just like we do. Over the course of dinner, we find out that K'ren's wireless internet hasn't worked right since her company gave her a new work laptop. So what comes next??? So I figure out the problem in like 10 minutes, and everything was right in the world. Got a hug from K'ren too!!! Hubba... hubba.... =)

So it would seem no matter where I go, I fix stuff. But hey it is what I do. It has definitely enabled me to make a name for myself in my present job and it seems that it flows into my personal life as well. And helping people out, really isn't all that bad. You do what you can with what's been presented with you and try to make it better for the people around you. That's a bit zen too, right? Heck how would I know? Not like I'm an Asian or anything....

What's New... Well..

Sharkey and I are in Minnesota if you didn't know. We are helping Lurking Lucy recoup. All is well. It's really amazing when you think about it. Amazing how much Sharkey and Lucy are alike that is. Well of course mothers and daughters have similarities, but a lot of Sharkey's little things that make her Sharkey she picked up from Lucy. Think that sheet folding post Sharkey did way back when was an original? Nah.... Lucy taught her... Think the towels in our house line up like soldiers on a parade field by accident? Nah... again.. Lucy and Sharkey have the towel folding down to a science. And the similarities do not just stop at what they do. I swear when Sharkey and Lucy are together the Minnesotan accent starts to possess Sharkey and she reverts back to that midwest speech, "Ya know see.... you betcha!!!"

Unfortunately, they also share the same sucky experience with cancer as well. They couldn't just have cancer 1x. Oh no, they both had to have recurrences. But since the apple doesn't fall far from the tree I'm pretty certain Lucy will fight as hard as Sharkey and I'm hopeful her outcome will mirror her daughter's progress to date. It really sucks that the ones you love have to go through this very sucky time and you can only stand by and watch. But you do what you can. Love and prayers for them people!!! It makes a world of difference, and that's all I am going to say about that.

I downloaded Evanescence's new album, "The Open Door" from iTunes. It is very kick ass!!!



It's a bit dark, sort of gothic, but it has a quality about it that I like. I think the sound is truly unique and very soulful, with a punch. Amy Lee is awesome too! You've probably heard them too on the radio and not known it. Like "My Immortal"



And if you were wondering, I wasn't one of those Asian guys in college who dressed in all black every day of the week. Nah, totally not me. I was the preppy kid w/ the oxford shirts and loafers.

The birthday was pretty good but busy. I had to work late, I had to mow the grass because we were leaving town for a couple weeks, and hey I found out that 4 cycle engines require oil to start. Who knew???!!!!! Duh, JP, DUH!!!!!

My Dog Maggie...

My dog Maggie is the cutest dog alive.



My dog Maggie is a big fool.

My dog Maggie loves me unconditionally.

My dog Maggie has so much puppy energy that I have to walk her 3/4 of a mile every day.

My dog Maggie has so much puppy energy that walks have been replaced by skateboard trips with her pulling me down the road



My dog Maggie must be in contact with my feet whenever possible.

My dog Maggie snores when she's asleep and does the doggie twitching and high pitch 1/2 woofs.

My dog Maggie did not know how to play when we first got her, but she caught on really fast and now lives to play.

My dog Maggie sings every morning when she wakes up and when she wants to go for a walk.

My dog Maggie leaves her toys all over the place.

My dog Maggie is amazed I manage to make it home time after time.

My dog Maggie likes DQ soft serve.

My dog Maggie has THE MOST PRISSY BARK I've ever heard

My dog Maggie is an excellent car passenger

My dog Maggie always gets a drink from the shower in the morning when I dunk my head

My dog Maggie is now asleep under the coffee table, no wait under the side table, no wait by the steps....

I love my dog Maggie very much....

Tired...

Can you catch up on sleep? I wonder. My Dad always said you could not. I'm starting to believe he was right. I pulled some really long hours this week. 10 hours Monday, 20 hours Tuesday, 17 hours Wednesday, and only 8 today! Why did I do this you ask? Well there's no "I" in team so if I didn't complete my piece of this project I'm doing, my teammate would have had to work on the weekend. I hate working on weekends, and if I can help it I try to make sure none of my peers needs to either. So have you ever seen a sleep deprived Asian guy? It's wacky!!!!

But it all works out. A good night of sleep tonight and I'll be good to go!!! I have a tee time at 10:50am tomorrow!!!

My Good Deed for the Day

So the doorbell rang at about 3PM. One of my neighbors asked if I could come change a flat tire. Now my neighbor "Ms. B" is a single Mom who recently separated from her husband. She's pretty nice and is conveniently a dog groomer. Yep, Maggie spends time over her house every two months or so. So being the manly, man I am, I lowered my voice a few octaves and said, "Sure Ms. B no problem I'll be right over." Change a tire? No problem. I've done it lots of times. I'm pretty good at it.

So I went over and found the spare, and the tire jack no problem. The tire was the passenger side front one. Yep it was flat. Flat like a pancake. The car was basically resting on the tire rim. So I walked back to the house, grabbed my mini compressor (Yes. I have a mini compressor that can inflate up to 175LBS/IN) and went back to try and blow up the tire. Well it looked like it was working to a point, but then it just would not inflate anymore. Now Ms. B's driveway that the car was on is on a 30 degree grade. Now I know what you're thinking, but "No" folks sorry. I didn't pull a Homer Simpson and jack the car up on a 30 degree driveway and then watch it roll down the hill into someone else's house. D'OH!!!!!!



I do stupid things sometimes, but I have moments of "common sense" every now and then. I inflated the tire enough to drive it a small distance, so I pulled it out of the driveway and onto the nice flat, level street.

Ms. B has a Volvo station wagon. Volvo makes really weird jacks. I've never seen anything like it. Instead of a diamond shaped jack this one was a "V." And the other thing is that the Volvo only has one jack point per side of the car. See most cars have 4 points where you can jack it up. This thing had 2. One on each side. OK, I thought it was strange jacking up an entire side of a car to change one tire, but I guess that's how Volvo's are. So I loosened the lug nuts on the tire and jacked up the car. No problem. I took off the tire then went to put on the little donut spare on. BAMMMMMMM!!!! The freakin jack failed, it fell to the left and the car came down. Fortunately I had the spare partially on so I didn't smash up Ms. B's car, and fortunately I was able to get my hands clear when it slid to the left.

Unfortunately the car pinned the jack to a point where I needed to lift it up in order to pull the jack out. CRAP!!!!!! S0 being the ingenious person I am I went back to the house and got my Toyota Matrix jack out of my car. I jacked up Ms. B's Volvo and pulled the Volvo jack out. I lowered the car and figured I could swap out my jack for hers and try to put the donut on. WRONG!!!! My jack was stuck to Ms. B's underside jack point. So I went back to my house and picked up my hammer. I knocked my jack off of Ms. B's jack point and then I slid the Volvo jack back under the car. I jacked up the car again 1/2 way and took a look to see if I could figure out why the jack had failed in the first place.

Turns out that Volvo designs really crappy automobile jacks. Whoever their supplier is should be shot. Any lateral movement sends the jack off balance and because you lift an entire side of the car up it makes matters worse. So I went back to my house and picked up a couple of 2x4's to put behind the car tires so it didn't move. You know as I was going through all these motions I was thinking, "HOW IN THE HECK COULD YOU CHANGE THIS CAR'S TIRE ON THE HIGHWAY????!!!!!!!!"

So I was able to get the donut on, put the lug nuts back on and bring the car down. So I was pretty happy until I looked at the tire. It was FLAT!!!!!! I could have just cried right there. Right in the street, 50 feet from my house, with all the world watching. So I used my little mini compressor, which thank GOD I have that, to inflate the tire up to what it should be. That worked!!!!!!!!! I rang the doorbell and told Ms. B it was fixed and that she should get a new tire ASAP. I walked into the house at 5:05pm, kissed Sharkey, took a shower and then laid down for a nap...... SIGH.....

Nothin Much...

Just have some random things.

The Shutters....

Sharkey thought it was a good idea to take our outside shutters down to paint. They were a bit faded, I have to admit. I thought, "sure how hard would that be?" Well, our 2nd story is about 20 feet high. So I borrowed the neighbor's extension ladder. I was able to remove the shutters, but on the ladder, it started to do the shifting thing. And when you are 20 feet off the ground that's not so good. So shaking profusely I came down. I thought there has to be a better way to put them back up. My thoughts were this: "Hey I worked for Habitat for Humanity last year and they use scaffolding. I'm going to use scaffolding."

So off to the Home Depot we went. The rental guy asked us how high we were going. I said 20 feet. He said, you know instead of assembling, disassembling scaffolding you could probably get the job done with a 14 foot "A" frame ladder. We thought sure we'll give it a try and maybe that'll save us some money. Anyhow, here's how it worked for us:

It was too darn short!! I could only reach the bottom holes easily and the middle drill holes only by stretching. Lesson here is that a 14 foot ladder doesn't get you 14 feet in the air. It's more like 11-12 feet. So $50 later, we returned the ladder and picked up some Home Depot scaffolding 2 days later. Sure this entire folly cost us $200, but the money I spent wouldn't even have touched my medical deductible. And hey, I didn't die in a 20 foot fall from putting up painted shutters! BONUS!!!!

My Fight with the lawnmower....

So I was cutting the grass on Saturday and noticed one of the wheels was the wrong height in the front of the mower. So I shut it off then I proceeded to adjust the wheel from the side. Unfortunately I forgot that the mower's exhaust port gets extremely hot. So I have a really nice burn on my right wrist. It was amazing how quickly it happened, how stupid I felt when I did it, and how many colorful metaphors I was yelling in the back yard!!

How's This for Big Brother...

So when I bought my MacBook I decided to take advantage of Apple's financing package of 90 days same as cash. No problem, I have a great credit rating so I applied for the account in the store. Well you provide the normal stuff: name, address, employer, annual income, checking accounts, homeowner/renter, etc. So I filled that out and went to the next application screen. To confirm my identity, the next screen asked me questions about my oldest brother. Where he lived, how many kids he has, and what industry he's employed in. They were multiple choice questions, but I thought to myself, "HOW IN THE HECK DID IT LINK US TOGETHER!!!!" Think about it. Based on the information I gave it, there's some database that tracks my relatives and their families so it can ask me multiple choice questions about them. WHOA!!!!!

Apple's new Shuffle....

I'm a technogeek as you know. Yesterday Apple had a media event where they announced new products for this year. Check out the new Shuffle. I might have to get me one of these....

Where's That Slap-O-matic When I need it?

Today was a fun day at the job. I had to explain to a person on my team how our processes work and how the timing of things needs to happen. Mind you this person has been on my team for 2 years now. Can you say, "C L U E L E S S ! ! !" The worst part is he's so freakin' unaccountable too. That's a bad combo. Clueless and not accountable. This is especially bad when you are a project manager. My one regret about turning down the manager job was I could of gotten rid of him!!! I totally had to step away from that situation before I blasted him today. Where's that JP Slap-O-Matic when you need it?? Actually, I may have a new invention for this type of person, the JP Boot-O-Matic.

Anime and YouTube

OK, those Anime things I've blogged about before....(yeah Suzie, they are CARTOONS I know) But I was messing around on YouTube and I found these...

Star Blazers: Here's the opening from the original Japanese show:



Robotech: Original opening to the US Version show:



Inuyasha: Japanese opening:

Flex Girl

No matter how many times I see this, I just say the same thing.... DAMN!!!

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggidy Jig!

Sharkey and I arrived home from Minnesota today. We stayed overnight in "scenic" Toledo both to and from the Twin Cities. It was nice though that Texas Roadhouse was right next to the Marriott Residence Inn we stayed at though!!!! We put a total of 2,660 miles on the car for our vacation road trip. Here's the route we traveled:

The drive wasn't bad at all. You had to watch for the State Troopers though. We counted around 50 cars pulled over from start to finish. We fortunately were not one of them. According to the Garmin GPS we also averaged 72MPH for the entire trip. Sharkey and I listened to some tunes and watched "The Sound of Music" DVD on the way home. OK, she mostly watched, I mostly listened and occasionally glanced over to get a peek at the scene. Maggie was also very good on this trip! She is a traveling dog now. She slept most of the way but it seems that she likes (ok, tolerates) the JP/Sharkey road trips. It was interesting to see how closely she kept an eye on us where ever we went so we wouldn't leave her behind. Gotta stay with the pack you know. And it seemed that she was way more relaxed this time around than on our first trip out to Minnesota in December. I think the other amazing thing to her was JP and Sharkey eating in the car ("Hey guys...{pant} {pant} that looks good, can I have some?)

Everything was great! We went to the fair 2x. Mind you 1x would have probably sufficed. I was able to get two rounds of golf in and some range time. We did some shopping at the Mall of America. We were able to visit with friends and family in Minnesota and Chicago. We also were able to spend time w/ Sharkey's grandparents, the Bud and the B, and do some shrub trimming for them. They can tell everyone they had a Japanese gardener do their landscaping (hahaha!!) And because we went to the fair I finally answered a question that I've always had, "What's my blood type?" I found out I am O+. I can cross that one off the list. And now I suppose I should become a donor. It was a pretty good vacation overall and "SCORE!!!" tomorrow is Labor Day so no work to do tomorrow either!! Can we plan it or what? =)

It is good to be home and not on the road, and also not cramming any more deep fried food in the mouth, but it really did not seem like this trip just blew by in a flash. It also does not seem we've been gone for an eternity. I think that means the time we were away was just about the right amount of time. But this concludes our long distance road trips for this year. Any more trips to the land of 10,000 lakes will be in the form of MidWest airlines travel.... yummmmm....fresh baked warm cookies.... =)

WHAT THE F!!!! Part 2

OK, so I recently posted a "what's up with that" post. This wonderful picture came through my Yahoo most viewed pictures tonight. It just begs the "WHAT THE F#$%!!!" statement. I give you the first poop bronzed of Suri Cruise:

Now, this looks like a warped award of some sort, no? (pppppssssssstttt, Suzie, will you and the Hubs take any award requests?????????? [SNORT!!!!]) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Sure this is some "artist's," Daniel Edwards, bronze cast but GEEEZE what's up with this? Seriously??? Baby booties, OK. First haircut, OK. First, bowel movement???? EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!! Damn Cruise, you are one screwed up guy!!! And I really have to think that Katie Holmes, while you are cute and all, how the heck could you EVEN approve of this crap. Pardon the expression! (AHEM...) I don't care what you did before, how much money or fame you have, but I would never hand over my kid's poopie to save for posterity.... AGAIN. WHAT THE F!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It Done Beginned

Now truth be told, this is why women hate childbirth...

Adult Swim, click the top left clip

Mall of America

Sharkey and I went to the Mall of America today. Thanks to Suzie we enjoyed lunch for free at one of the Lettuce Entertain you restaurants, "Twin City Grill." We then spent some time in Brookstone going comatose in the massage chairs and we were able to do some shopping. I was able to snag a new pair of Born shoes for 1/2 the price. Sharkey was able to get some new dibs as well at Eddie Bauer. Tomorrow is the fair. I have been working the body up to the challenge. I think I'll take a double dose of the cholesterol medication tonight and make sure I memorize the location of all the portable defibrillators at the fair. But if I go down tomorrow and go to the light, it'll definitely be with a smile and barbecue sauce or cookie chocolate all over my mouth!!!!



LET THE GREASEFEST BEGIN!!!!

Road Trip

Sharkey and I will be heading midwest in two days. We are off to Minnesota for a little R&R. We'll visit family, I'll play some golf, and we'll walk around the Minnesota State Fair!!! Now you may say, what's so freakin' great about a fair JP? Seen one fair, you've seen them all!! Well let me tell you something brother, you ain't never seen anything like this!

The state fair is the fair to end all fairs. Yes you do have the typical fair food, where everything is on a stick and mostly deep fried. It's the midwest after all, you know they like their meat and potatoes! There are a few things that you can really only get there too:

1. Batter fried cheese curds

2. Sweet Martha's Chocolate Chip Cookies

3. Deep fried candy bars

4. Tejas Chorizo Sausage breakfast burritos

5. Famous Dave's Ribs (well you can get them in Phily now too, but it's just not the same as MN)

The above 5 items describe the majority of my day. We wander around, we eat. We walk through the exhibit halls, we eat. We go in and out of the vendor buildings, we eat some more. We listen to the live radio show, and we eat some more. Additionally, the above 5 items force me to load up on the Lescol ahead of time and Sharkey will be carrying our portable defibrillator with us, ....er um...., just in case... As you know or do not know, I love food. I mean I really, really love food. It's amazing that I do not weigh 500lbs. with the amount of food I can consume. And the fair is the prime spot to get whatever food you want. Here's a list of everything they have:


Alligator
Almonds
Amaretto
Andouille Sausage
Antelope (Meat Snack Sticks)
Apples
Arabica Coffee
Artichoke
Asparagus
Bacon
Bagels
Baklava
Banana Split
Bananas
Beans
Beef
Beer
Beer Batter Brat
Belgium Waffles
Berries
Berry
Biscuits
Bison Meat
Black Berries
Blackened Steak
Blizzards
Blooming Onion
Blueberries
Boar
Bohemian Chicken
Bomb Pops
Bratwurst
Bread
Brisket Hash
Broccoli
Brownies
Bubble Gum
Buffalo
Bug Juice
Burritos
Cabbage Roll
Caesar Salad
Cajun Chicken
Cake
California Hamburger
Calzone
Candies
Candy
Candy Apples
Candy Bar (Popcorn)
Cantaloupe
Cappuccino
Caramel Apples
Caramel Corn
Caribbean Chicken
Caribou
Carob
Carolina Smoked Pork
Carrots
Cashews
Catfish
Cauliflower
Celery
Cereal
Chai Tea
Chaurice Sausage
Cheddar Cheese
Cheese
Cheese Cake (Chocolate Covered)
Cheeseburger
Cheesecake
Cherry Coke
Chestnut
Chicago Dog
Chicken
Chicken Popcorn Bowls
Chickitos
Chicory Coffee
Chili
Chilitos
Chipolte (seasoning)
Chips
Chives
Chocolate
Chocolate Potato Chips
Chocolate Sandwiches (grilled)
Chorizo
Chow Mein
Churros
Cider
Cinnamon Rolls
Cinnie Smiths
Clams
Coca Cola
Coconut
Coffee
Coleslaw
Cones
Cookies
Coolers
Corn
Cornbread
Corndogs
Corned Beef
Cornita
Cotton Candy
Crabmeat
Crackers
Cranberries
Crawfish
Cream (Puffs)
Creole (Sausage)
Crepes
Criss Cross (Fries)
Croissants
Crystal Light Beverage
Cucumbers
Curds
Curly Fries
Currants
Custard
Cyclones
Czech (Sausage)
Danish
Decaffeinated Coffee
Dessert
Diet (Soft drinks)
Dippin Dots
Dole (Whip)
Donuts
Double (burgers)
Dough (Fried)
Dove Bars
Dr. Pepper
Draft Root Beer
Dried Fruits
Drinks
Drummies
Drumsticks
Duck
Dumplings
Ears (Elephant)
Eggs
Elk Burgers
Enchiladas
Energy Drinks
English Muffins
Espresso
Fajitas
Falafel
Feta (cheese)
Filbert
Fish
Floats
Flour Tortillas
Flowering Onions
Foccacia
Footlong Hot Dogs
Fortune Cookies
Frappe
Freezes
French bread
French Fries
French Toast
Fritters
Frosting
Fruit
Fudge
Fudge Puppies
Funnel Cake
Garden Salad
Garlic Bread
Garlic Chicken Pizza
Gatorade
Gelato (Italian)
German Sausage
Ghirardelli Chocolate
Ginger Beer
Gizmo Sandwich
Gorilla (Bread)
Goulash
Graham Cracker
Grapefruit
Grapes
Gravy
Green Pepper
Grilled Cheese
Guacamole
Gum
Gumbo
Gyros
Ham
Ham Loaf
Hamburgers
Hand-Dipped Chocolates
Hard Lemonade
Hash
Hashbrowns
Hawaiian (shaved ice)
Hawaiian Punch
Hazelnut (Coffees)
Herb Seasoned
HI-C Drinks
Hickory Smoked Flavor
Hoagies
Honey
Honey (Candy)
Honey (Ice Cream)
Honeydew
Hot Dogs
Hot-Dish on-a-stick
Humus
Hush Puppies
Ice Coffee
Ice Cream
Ice Tea
Irish Cream
Italian Foods
Jackelope Meat Snacks
Jalapeno Poppers
Jamaican Foods
Jambalaya
Jams
Jasmine
Jellies
Jerk (Chicken)
Jerky
Juice
Kabobs
Kahlua
Kangaroo
Kettle (Corn)
Key Lime Pie Bar
Kiwi
Knockwurst
Koney
Kool-Aid
Kraut
Krispies (Bars)
Kristian (Root Beer)
Krumcake
Lamb
Lasagna
Latte
Lefse
Lemonade
Lettuce
Licorice
Limeade
Lingonberries
Links (Sausage)
Lobster
London Broil
Lubia Rice
M&M's Candy Topping
Macadamia Nuts
Macaroni
Malts
Mango
Maple
Marinara
Marinated (Chicken)
Marshmallow
Meatball
Meatloaf
Mediterranean Foods
Mello-Yellow
Mexican
Milk (Got!)
Mineral (Water)
Miniature (Donuts)
Minnekabobs
Mixed Nuts
Mocha
Mostaccioli
Mozzarella
Muffins
Mushrooms
Nachos
Neapolitan Ice Cream
Nestea
Noodles
Nuggets (Chicken)
Nuggets (Jalapeno)
Nuggets (Turkey)
Nut rolls
Nut Rolls (Chocolate Covered)
Nutella
Nuts
Oatmeal
Olives
Omelets
Onions
Orange
Orange Juice
Orangeade
Orangina
Oreo Cookies
Oriental
Ostrich
Oysters
Palletized (Ice cream)
Pancakes
Panzerotti
Pappa Pup
Parmesan Cheese
Passion Fruit Coolers
Pasta
Pastrami
Pastries
Peaches
Peanuts
Pecans
Pepitas
Pepperocini Peppers
Pepperoni
Peppers
Pepsi
Peruvian Coffee
Pheasant
Philly Cheese Steak
Pickles
Pie
Pina Colada
Pineapple
Pink Lemonade
Pistolette
Pitas
Pixxa Burger
Pizza
Polish Sausage
Political Pops
Poncho Dog
Poor Boy (Sandwiches)
Pop
Popcorn
Poppers
Poppyseed (Bagels, Muffins)
Pops
Pork
Pork chops
Porketta
Portabella
Pot Stickers
Potato
Pretzels
Prime Rib
Pronto Pups
Pulled (BBQ Pork)
Pumpernickel (Bagels)
Punch
Quesadillas
Rachel
Rainbow Ice Cream Cone
Raisins
Ranch (Dressing)
Raspberry
Ravioli
Refried Beans
Regale
Reuben
Ribbon Fries
Riblet
Ribs
Rice
Rice Krispie Bars
Rigatoni
Rings (Onions and Pepper)
Roast Beef Sandwiches
Rolls
Root Beer
Ropes (Licorice)
Rotisserie Chicken
Royal Crown Cola
Salad
Salami
Salmon
Salsa
Salted Nut Rolls
Sandwich
Sasparilla
Sauces
Sauerkraut
Sausage
Scallops
Scones
Scotch Eggs
Scrambled (Eggs)
Seville Sandwiches
Shakes
Shaved Ice
Shells (Pasta)
Sherbert
Shishkabob
Shortcake
Shrimp
Sirloin
Sloppy Joes
Slush Drinks
Smoothies
S'mores
Snickers
Snow Cones
Soft Drinks
Sorbet
Soup
Sour Candy
Sour Cream
Soynuts
Spaghetti
Spaghetti and Meatballs on-a-stick
Spanakopita
Spanish Rice
Spinach (Pizza)
Spiral Chips
Sprite
Sprouts
Spudsters
Spumoni
Steak
Strawberries
Stromboli
Stuffed Peppers
Submarine Sandwiches
Suckers
Sundaes
Sunflower Seeds (chocolate covered)
Sunkist Orange Soda
Super Dogs (triple corndog)
Supercalifragilistic Sundae
Surge
Swedish Meatballs
Swedish Sausage
Szechwan
Tabouli Salad
Taco
Taffy
Taffy Pop
Tamales
T-Bone Steak
Tea
Tenderloin
Tenders (Chicken)
Teriyaki Chicken
Toast
Toffee
Tomato
Tortillas
Tostadas
Tropical Fruit Shaved Ice
Turkey
Turtles
Tuscan Sausage
Twinkies
Twist Ice Cream Cones
Vanilla Ice Cream
Vegetable Kabobs
Vegetables
Veggie Pie
Venison
Vietnamese Egg Rolls
Waffles
Walleye
Walnuts
Water
Watermelon
Weisswurst Sausage
Whipped Cream
Whipped Honey
Wilbur Beans
Wild Game Sticks
Wild Rice Corn Dog
Wild Rice Soup
Wine
Wings
Wonton
Worms (Gummi)
Wraps
Yak (Wild Game sticks)
Yogurt
Zeppoles (Italian pastry)
Zucchini

But the fair isn't just food and it's not a small, quaint fair that you may picture when you think of fairs. It's pretty cool! They have everything Minnesota there. The Twins have a booth, the different local TV, radio and newspapers setup there. The setup is pretty interesting. There's major corporate sponsorship like 3M, Coca Cola, and Toyota. And you cannot believe how many people go. I never really "got it" until I went to my first one, then after that when August approaches every year I ask Sharkey, "So when are we going to the MN State Fair?"

Turk N' Surf

Used the good old, Masterbuilt Turk N' Surf again tonight. Sharkey and I threw a summer turkey fry party. I found a good Food 911 recipe for Southern Friend Turkey on the FoodTV.com site. Thank you Tyler Florence.



We had 11 people over tonight and cooked a 12lb. turkey. It was pretty good. It cooked in about 50 minutes. It was pretty good. Very moist with a slight kick. It was way better than the one we cooked last Thanksgiving. That brine stuff I think is only good for oven baking. I think the flash frying definitely needs to be injected. It was fun playing heroin addict and shooting up the bird last night!! Come on man, I need my fix....give me drugs...give me drugs.... OK Tom Turkey, no problem, the first one is free, but the next one will cost you a little money!!!! =)

We had drinks and pie for dessert. YUM!!! PIE!!!! I love pie. Sharkey made a pumpkin pie and we also had a French Silk Pie. It was fun and Maggie couldn't believe all the people that came just to see her tonight. What a little princess she is!!

Why?

Was there ever something that you just heard or just saw briefly that made you think, man that's a really bad idea or that really is going to suck. Now this is exactly how I felt when I saw the commercial for "Snakes on a Plane." Samuel L. Jackson, what the heck were you thinking when you accepted this script??????!!!!

*******ADDENDUM... ADDITION!!!!!!*******

When I went to link for something off of FoodTV (and I do not know why in the hell they would allow this advertising on their site) I came across this add:



Now I'm as open minded as the next guy, but does this picture just not make you say, "What the fu@@ is that about???" So of course I had to go to the link and see what's up with this advertisement. They claim to have the largest selection of Quality Neti products. Dude, they have to have the ONLY selection of freakin' Neti products. What the heck?? Quality??! How the crap do you measure the quality of something that shoots water up your nose??? Do you see if it doesn't drown you or make water and snot come out of your mouth? I mean come on!!!!!! Again, WHY??????????

MacBook Day 3

OK, I won't keep reporting on my new experiences with my MacBook, but I decided to tell you something I have noticed. Everything looks soooooo DIFFERENT on the MacBook. What do I mean? Pictures, webpages, colors. They are all different. Sharkey says that this is due to the different gamma the MacBook uses. I'm not even sure I know what she's talking about, but it doesn't matter. This piece of hardware has made personal computing fun again. Minimalism rules!!!!



I mentioned this a bit last night, but let me elaborate a bit more. Contemplating a Mac, but don't think you can do without WinXP? Well if you want both, you can have it with Parallels software. You need a WinXP install CD and license, because Parallels just sets up a virtual machine in the Mac OS. The install takes about an hour, because you are essentially installing the WinXP OS. But it is very slick. Check it out, you can open a window with a fully functioning WinXP operating system running. You can share files between the operating systems and all the wonderful Windows applications you used before can be carried over to the Mac. This also is a big improvement over the dual booting Bootcamp solution that Apple has provided with their OS. So all the "normal" things you are used to doing with Windows is not banished and forgotten.



The existence of this software really tipped the scales in my decision to go Apple instead of PC.

Pulled the Trigger.... MACBOOK

So if you are a reader of JP Jargon, you know that my tablet PC has been throwing hard drive errors and locking up. Both issues are not good, and they are both signs the machine is starting the trek towards "The Light...." So I contemplated another tablet, a normal laptop, or......(gasp!) a MacBook...... So if you have not guessed from the title, the winner was the MacBook.

So I know what you are thinking. Why? JP you're a Microsoft guy, what's up with this decision? Well folks it comes down to this. I'm tired of PC's. I want a change. Maybe this is a midlife techie crisis. (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I know NERD!!!!!!!!! ) When I took a look at the specs on everything, MacBook came out on top. And I really can get on board with Apple's Minimalistic philosophy. Things that work the first time around w/o having to search for a service pack, driver, or DLL file? No way? What's an MCSE like me going to do now? The answer is simple, I'm going to actually get into the applications instead of constantly having to figure out the conflicts. Also with Parallels, I can have my Mac and WinXP too!!

So after talking to Sharkey, she gave me the green light. It was also probably due to the home PC also throwing blue screens like Tic Tacs all of a sudden. So I went to Delaware yesterday, which as all East Coasters know is the "Home of Tax Free Shopping." I traveled to the Apple store armed with my student ID (thank you educational discount!) and credit card.

So here's how much Apple technology 2G's will buy you now a days:



So my MacBook has a Intel Duo 2.0GHz processor, 1GB RAM memory, Superdrive (CD/DVD+/-RW), 80GB Harddisk storage, 13.3 inch widescreen display, and built in iSight camera. And right now, there's an "educational offer" where you can get a 30GB iPod for $90. College students need their tunes I guess. Gee, do you think that JP can pass that up???? Deals!! I'm all over deals and I'm a SUCKER for marketing. Apple is running a printer offer now where you get $100 back. The printer you see in the above picture is an HP scanner/printer. The printer was $99.95, so it was essentially free. I also picked up Mac Office which seamlessly allows you to use Microsoft Word, Excel and Powerpoint from any PC. I got the 3 year extended warranty. I'm not usually one to get that crap but I felt it was a good deal and it is my first trip into MacWorld so I wanted it to be a 3 year worry free one.

Apple corners the market on well thought out design and packaging is no exclusion. Packing is something the PC world really cares nothing about. A few nice cardboard folds and multiple paper cuts is what you get with PC's. Not so with Mac's. When you open the box, the packing material gives you the initial welcome to the world of Mac:



The MacBook is packed similarly to the iPod. No space is wasted and everything is easily accessible once you remove the primary layer of packing. Also, when you remove the first layer of packing, the heavens open, the sun shines brightly on the MacBook, and you can hear the angelic voices singing! Well at least that's what I heard when I took that first layer off:



At first glance, you think to yourself, "Where's the setup poster?" "Where's all the manuals and quick start guides?" "Where are the hidden compartments of the packing materials, double taped, that you need to disassemble in order to find the CD's and guides you need?" Well, in short, there are none. Apple seems to think that the user shouldn't be inundated with all that secondary crap the moment they open the box. I for one really like this idea. So once you lift the MacBook out of the box you see the documentation:



It's a little very unintimidating box with "Designed by Apple in California" on the box. Again, Apple uses a minimalistic design in everything they do. Users are not intimidated or disenchanted by 500 page books of documentation in 5 different languages. I LOVE THIS!!!



The little box unfolds. Contained within are the manuals, only in ENGLISH, the system CD's and some product coupons and warranty. Here's Sharkey doing the "Vanna" thing and displaying the new techie digs:



Once opened the MacBook is very user friendly. Notice anything? No laptop latch. The MacBook uses a magnetic closure. At the top of the screen is the iSight camera. It's a nifty little built in gadget that you can use for self portrait or web cam types of things.



It took about 15 minutes to configure. The MacBook picked up the home wireless network without a problem and in no time surfing was resumed.



So now JP has turned the corner. I drank the MacWorld Kool-Aid. It will take some getting used to a new OS, but so far the transition has been very pleasant so far. Stay tuned....

The Sticks

I had a request to explain my "drawlrings" so I thought I'd honor Suzie's request and explain them or rather why I do them. So here goes...

The stick figures started about 17 years ago. My brother was just married and I used to spend a lot of time over his house because I used to go to school near where he lived in NJ. Well, he and his new wife had a guestbook that they used to track who visited them. So every time I went there, I would sign the book. First I did it for a joke because it was sort of annoying to me to sign in whenever I went to visit. Then I decided to start drawing stick figures in it. At first I did the smiley faces, then I switched to themes, and then finally it got to the point where I was recording things that happened every time I visited them. The stick figures became more and more "alive" and personalized. They turned into a conversational piece at my brother's house, so I just kept doing it.

I have a specific figure I do for me.


Sharkey has her own specific stick figure.


And the story doesn't end there.

When Sharkey and I were married, I decided to start adding my "Sticks" to her Grandma and Grandpa's cards we'd give them. So with each card, they received a snippet of what Sharkey and I were up to. Now, Grandma B and Grandpa Bud expect the "Sticks" in their cards. In fact, they saved every single one I've ever sent them. And God forbid if I ever forget to do that. When we send them cards, Sharkey always reminds me to draw the "Sticks" for them. Sharkey's cousin took all of them and scrap booked them for B & Bud, so my "drawlrings" have been saved for all posterity.

The funny thing is, I see this booth in the KOP mall for figures similar to mine, and I turned and said to Sharkey, "Those bastards ripped me off!!!" OK, I know stick figures aren't trademarked, but still, I totally thought of it first!! Everybody knows it...

Karma

Do you believe in Karma? Good Karma? Bad Karma? Karma, Karma, Karma chameleon??? Sorry, bad 80's reference there. Well whatever you call it, I think of it as everything being right with the universe. As everyone knows good is balanced by bad, hot by cold, evil by good, salty by sweet, Coke by Pepsi, McDonald's by Wendy's etc. You see it all around you and may not even know it or realize it.

For instance I thought a couple of weeks ago that maybe it was a good idea to go for management. So I threw my hat in, and went through the interview process. Yep, I decided to go for it and change my life. But you know what? A few things happened along the way in the past two weeks to convince me that it really is not for me. At least not where I am in my life right now. So come Monday morning, I'm going to e-mail the hiring manager and take my application out of the mix. I do not want it. I realized that I get my "joy" and "fufillment" from being hands on and troubleshooting and "playing" with new technology. Truth be told I LOVE it, and I think at times it's the coolest thing. And I'm damn good at what I do. I also realized that I don't have to have the title of "Leader" to lead by example. Now that does not mean I'll never go for Management, just not right now. And since I made that decision, I've been the happiest I've been for a really long time. It seems that the balance has come back in my life.

Good Karma!!



Now bad Karma can happen too. Case in point... The Jerkstores or Jackholes from my golf league made it to the playoffs again this year. So did my partner and I, but we didn't have to play them in the first round. Well I found out yesterday that they were eliminated by a the lowest ranked team in the playoffs. After the crap they pulled on us last year with us and the resulting terrible year they had this year, their bad Karma came around to bite them in their asses!!! Sorry boys, game over for you!! The funniest part is I found out they divorced each other and won't be playing together anymore!!! JACKHOLES!!!! =)

So remember, keep your good Karma and don't be a Jackhole!!!

My First Car and the Concrete Island

My first car was a Datsun 200sx. It was a pretty nifty little car and I had it when I was a senior in High School. So I was fortunate to not have to take the bus all Senior year.

See my car was actually my oldest brother's old car. He just bought a new car and decided instead of trading in his old wheels to give it to his younger brother. What a deal!! It was a 5 speed stick and didn't have many options, but it was all mine!

This leads me to my next story. Before I could drive the car all by myself, I had to pass my driver's test. I'll never forget the day before my driver's test, because that's when the concrete island incident happened. See my Dad came to pick me up at High School. I pulled out of the parking lot and was driving by the tennis courts where my friends were practicing. I thought I'd do a cool drive by and then accelerate out, just to show off. Well, I did my drive by and did my acceleration maneuver perfectly shifting from 2nd to 3rd. I was so cool!!! Unfortunately for me, I didn't realize that there was a concrete island in front of me. BAM!!!!!!! The entire car went over the island front wheels, then back wheels and my Father and I were bounced around in the car like pinballs. Then I drove home and my Dad shook his head and said, "I'm really not sure I should let you take that driving test tomorrow." I am laughing and smiling as I write this post, only because I can just picture how insanely funny, and how stupid I was and how the whole thing looked and sounded. I can remember looking in the rear view mirror and seeing my friends falling down on the tennis courts just laughing and rolling around!!!! Yeah it was definitely not my finest moment.

I'm glad to say my Dad did not kill me. My friends were surprised that I was in school the next day. They thought for sure my Dad would have given me a beating after that. And I'm happy to say he even let me take my driver's exam the next day, even though the concrete island incident had taken place the day before!! Of course I was without a car for 2 weeks afterwards for punishment. I chalk this all up to one of those really stupid things you do when you are a teenager.... =)

How Much Have You Changed Since High School?

Went to NJ this past week to be with my Mom for a test. She was having some weirdness going on with the colon, so she was scoped to see what was going on. Thankfully, everything turned out OK and the doctor says she'll be fine.

While I was in NJ I went into my old bedroom and picked up my High School yearbook. I paged through it and remembered some things. Damn I was really awkward back then. I totally did not know what the hell I was doing. Sharkey and I have talked before about the "old" days and she always said she'd go back and do it in a heartbeat. Not me man. No way!!! I just never felt like High School was the greatest or best time of my life. Not even close. My time came in right after college when I landed my first real job and was all the way across the country living in Bend, Oregon. That's when I totally felt like I knew who I was and what I was about and that I had "arrived" where I thought I should be. It's a good feeling when you find your place in the world.

But I also found this picture recently and I thought I'd share it since Suzie already outed Sharkey and I to the virtual world!!! =) Here's my NJ driver's license picture, circa 1987. Yes, that was 19 years ago, I'm old now, I get it.... And if you look at Suzie's site, you can compare then to now, which is even more drastic! But also, Suzie wanted to see a JP spikey hair picture and this is about the best I can do, even though my hair was growing out a bit at that point and wasn't gelled up. And thank GOD, I straightened my teeth and gained some freakin' weight (and muscle...er...yeah, muscle... that's it....ppppfffttt)!!! Anyhow, Suzie this one's for you...

Like the 80's pinstripe shirt? Just listen to "Heart and Soul" by T'Pau when you are looking at this picture and you'll be immediately transported back to 1987!!!!!

Mosquito City

Every Thursday is golf league. I talk about golf a lot, I know. And if you are a reader of my blog you know I golf on Thursdays, there are some jerks, I play with a dude named Peters, etc. Anyway, last week I didn't play because Sharkey and I were in Miami meeting Suzie and the Hubs. I love golf, but it was really nice not having to play last week. See, the problem here is that lately Eastern PA has received just the right combination of rain to become the perfect breeding ground for my favorite pest, the mosquito. Did you know it is also the state bird of Minnesota??

It's not so bad around our house, but where I play golf is just BRUTAL!! You want to stay in the sunlight as much as possible and you pray for a wind. Because if you venture off into the shade or near a water hazard you are eaten alive. The week before we left for Miami I had finished a round of golf and I counted 32 bites on me!! For some reason, the good Lord above made me a natural mosquito attractor. Now the other thing you have to understand is that unfortunately I am EXTREMELY allergic to mosquito bites. I swell up, I look like a balloon sculpture, it's not pretty. I tried all the different types of repellent. I tried the all natural stuff with citronella and some new agent. The crap with lemon eucalyptus. That stuff sucked!! I think the mosquitoes liked me more. No my friends, I'm sad to say that the stuff that works the best is still the old standard, 29% DEET Deep Woods OFF!!! So if I grow a third arm or eye in the back of my head, so be it. I hate those bloodsuckers!!!

I checked out tomorrow's mosquito report and here it is:



Thankfully, it's not too bad. Two weeks ago the bar chart was at "Very High" from 4-8pm. Right smack in the middle of JP's golf league.

US Airways BLOWS!!!

So we just got home about 20 minutes ago. My watch reads 3:07am now. It is GOOD to finally be home!! We were supposed to have arrived in Philadelphia at 10:05pm. Well, that didn't happen. At Ft. Lauderdale, we were told the inbound aircraft from Philly was delayed and was not taking off until 6:45pm. Considering our flight was supposed to leave Ft. Lauderdale at 7:05pm, that meant we'd be leaving somewhere around 9:30pm now. Well the gate agent came on again and said 30 minutes later that the airplane had just left Philly. The big "UGH!!" was heard all over that terminal. So the plane arrived at Ft. Lauderdale around 9:45. We boarded and took off around 10:30pm. The flight was pretty uneventful and we landed at 12:35am. I can accept that there are weather issues that cause this kind of stuff to happen, so I just shrugged it off. No problem right? WRONG!!!

Sharkey and I waited an hour and a 1/2 for our luggage. We were with about 50 other passengers in baggage claim just standing around waiting. There really were no other passengers from other flights around us. So 40 min. into the wait one of the guys on our flight went to the baggage counter and asked what was up. They told him they were really "BUSY" tonight and there were several other planes they had to unload before ours. And they couldn't give us an estimate of when the bags would come up the conveyor. They said it could be 30min. or 2 - 3 more hours!!! Now see, stuff like that really pisses me off!! It's not like US Airways has other flights coming in after 1am and to say the timeframe was anywhere from minutes to several hours is complete BS!!! And when you looked around baggage claim, it was a complete friggin' GHOST TOWN!!!! Mind you this is not the first time they've done this. On average if you fly US Airways into Philly, you will wait at least 45min. for your bags. We locals have come to accept this as a given for flying them. The stupid thing is, it is totally PHILADELPHIA where this crap happens. If you fly US Airways to any other location in the USA, your bags will usually appear within 15 - 25min after your flight lands.



I told Sharkey tonight they are BANNED!!! If we can help it we will not fly them again.

Lost My Shirt in Miami

So I just realized why I never unpack when I hit a hotel. It's because my 36 going on 37 year old memory sucks!!! I cannot remember to repack what I put in the freakin' hotel room drawer!!! I left one of my nice Dry Sport (I call them "Dry Weave" but Sharkey has been getting on me about that saying that term is used exclusively for female hygiene products!!) golf shirts behind at the Westin in Miami and when I called to ask if I could get someone to look for it or if anyone had turned it in, they were as interested in helping me as if I had the plague. Nice!!! I'm figuring one of the housekeeping people's spouses is sporting my shirt around town now.

Our little vacation has just been a blast. Met Suzie and the Hubs the other night. She did not turn out to be a psychotic axe murderer or internet predator. They were very nice. It was like talking to people you've known for a while. Also, they saw the JP problem solving skills in action, because I had (eeeerrrrrr...DUH!!!!!) left the digital camera card back at the hotel in my tablet PC and let's just say Sharkey was not very happy with me. But a quick trip to Office Max which fortunately was only 5 min. away turned the entire situation around. Oh, and Suzie, I know you are reading this post and you've mentioned how you need to reciprocate the dinner we paid for, but truth be told, it was $50 total. $50 measly bucks!! No worries, K'? =) But you can still come to PA if your heart desires! You do have friends in Pennsylvania.

So our flight is leaving tonight and we should be back home in our own bed and with the Mags. So we checked out of the hotel and I'm writing this post from Panera Bread Co. in Ft. Lauderdale. Soup and sandwich anyone!! Hey that cherry/cheese danish is calling my name... Yep, heard it again...

Don't You Just Feel Like This Some Days?

I saw this picture on Yahoo. If you have your MyYahoo page setup to display the most e-mailed photos you've probably seen it too (or the gay female body builders rubbing tanner on each other....ahem.....things that make you say, "Huuuuuummmm") "Anywho," I really loved it. It makes me think of how you picture yourself looking when either someone pisses you off or you are just in one of those "moods."

Things That I Like...

In Hollywood, FL this week. Trying to teach clients new things and "learn them good." Convention ended today, so now it is time for some DOWN TIME!!! Sharkey and I rented a car. We got a Pontiac G6. It is pretty tight. It corners and accelerates pretty nicely. I've been wanting to try out that car for a while. I drive a Toyota Matrix, and I really like how it handles and that was a joint auto venture b/w Toyota and Pontiac, so there are some similarities to Pontiac in my Japanese car. We also checked into the Marriott and guess what's in the room!!!!

This lead me to think about things I really like:

1. Tight cornering, decent accelerating automobiles. I drive a Toyota now, but next time I think an Infiniti G35x is in order.... SSSSSHHHHHH do not tell Sharkey about this plan.... (ahem...)

2. Flat screen TV's. Hey, did you know the prices are dropping??? True story, check it out on Yahoo!!

3. High tech Gadgets. Yep love them. GPS handhelds w/ maps, multifunctional mobile phones, iPods, flash drives, mini optical mice, and PC's/Macs.

4. Room Service. It's vacation, you want to sleep in, but still want breakfast. What can be better???

5. Full service hotels. Let me just tell you, if you do not ever want to get jaded like I am, NEVER....EVER stay at a Disney Resort Hotel. And never stay at a Marriott Vacation Club Resort. Cause once you stay at one of those, it's really hard to stay at any other place.

6. Rainy days. Not sure why, but I've always liked the nice, soaking steady rainy days. I always have. I'm not talking the storming, 60 MPH wind, lightning/thunder type of day. I'm talking about the proverbial April shower type of day w/ the steady falling rain where you just sit back w/ a nice hot beverage, good book, and just veg...

7. Watches. I love tracking time. I do not know why? I just love different watches. I probably own about 10 different ones. Seiko, Citizen, Oakley, Fossil, are some of the timepieces I have.

8. Pens. I think this goes hand in hand w/ the watch fixation. I have several types of pens too. Cross, Watermark, Sensa, and a Belkin laser pointer/PDA stylus/pen (hence satisfying the gadget affinity too)

9. Sunglasses. Never skimp on the eyes or the feet. I love the wraparound Oakley's, I have a pair of Ray Ban's and of course Callaway specs.

10. Golf. It is my passion. I could hit balls every day 365 days a year. I love it. I think doing it serves a few things for me. It puts me in the "zone." It helps me to totally relax, feel "centered," and it makes me feel closer to my departed Dad. He taught me how to golf initially, and some of the best memories I have of him of are he and I playing. I never did beat him when he was alive. Pity, because I'm pretty sure I could give him a run for his money now!!

So that's my ten... If you have a little time, I'd like to hear a few of yours...

To Be or Not to Be THE MAN...

Crossroad time. You know, life changing decision time. Trying to figure out if it's the right time to move up , move onward, further the career or not. I have an opportunity to sit in the big chair. My current Manager is moving on. So I'm trying to figure out if it's time for me to be "The Man." Now mind you I'm happy with the current job. I'm sort of a free spirit. I can come and go as I please for the most part. See I'm a virtual employee. My normal office attire are shorts and a t-shirt. I am in IT, but my company allows me to do the work at home, on the road, where ever I want. I just have to get the job done.

Now if I went for this new gig, I'd be the manager of 19 employees. My problems would not be limited to my own, but 19 other people's needs and issues. My responsibilities would change drastically. I'm starting to make my pro and con list. The difficult thing was hearing from 1/2 of my team directly asking, OK hoping, that I apply to be "The Man." It also does not make it easy that my current manager thinks I would make a good new boss. On top of that, Sharkey has been encouraging me saying it would be a good move for me.

I'm just not sure this is all for me. I'm really on the fence right now. Doing a lot of soul searching. I suppose it depends what my ultimate goal is. If it were to move up in the company or to just gain the experience to move on fine. But I view all this in a way that I'm thinking how can I avoid it all. I suppose that's bad, right? The thing is I'm going for my Master's degree to further the career, but does it mean I need to manage?

See I've been the "go to" guy. The one who comes up with the impossible solutions to everyone's problems. I learn all the rules of the job I do so I can twist, bend, and break them all to get the job done. It has served me very well the past 10 years. Could I step back and not be so hands on and be happy watching other guys do the job and help guide them?

I'm not one to search for a sign or anything, but man I wish that bolt of lightning with the voice would strike now!!!!

JP - Official Callaway Golf Product Tester!

So if you've read some of the previous posts on JP Jargon you know that JP is a golfer. You also know that JP's equipment of choice is Callaway. So in addition to equipment, JP has Callaway shirts, shorts, sunglasses, and a watch. JP is very passionate about branding and is often mistaken for a tour sponsored player, well not because of his game, but because of his loyalty to the Callaway brand. (on a side note, it's fun writing like this in the 3rd person....it's like that Seinfeld episode w/ Jimmy, "Jimmy thinks you're swell...Jimmy likes you a lot...Jimmy fall down...Jimmy's gonna get you Kramer!!!")

Anyhow, JP is part of Callaway Golf's reader panel and filled out a questionnaire on lessons and instruction. To make a long story short, JP was chosen to review the new David Leadbetter DVD set "Leadbetter Interactive" for Callaway Golf.

So now JP is an official Callaway Golf product tester!!! Maybe this is JP's chance to get an in to test other things for Callaway too!! Time will tell...

There's Something Under the Bed

So the other day I walked into the bedroom and saw this:



Apparently some creature had found its way under Sharkey and JP's bed. The unique quality about this lifeform from another planet was the tail. It seemed to be moving back and forth at approximately 1000 wags/min. It was like watching a tiny outboard motor.

Upon further investigation, I found out that it was none other than Maggie Malarkey:



Lately Maggie has decided that the underneath of our bed makes quite the den for her to hang out. It cracked me up the other day to walk into the room and just see her little tushy sticking out w/ the tail wagging at light speed.

Mornings with Mags...

Getting ready rituals. We all have them. You know what I'm talking about. They are the things we do to get ready for the day. You know, things like getting up, brushing the teeth, making the coffee, taking a shower and getting dressed. My ritual is a bit different than most I think. See JP takes showers at night, before bedtime. Why you ask?? Well, it's pretty much how I was raised. Maybe it's a Japanese thing, but I always have showered before bedtime. My entire family does in fact too. Sharkey does not do the JP ritual if you were wondering. She does the morning shower like I'm sure 80-90% of you do. So in the morning, my getting ready ritual is to brush the teeth, put the contacts in, shave, and then dunk the head under the shower head to put conditioner in so I can get the hair in decent shape for the day.

Well, my Maggie has managed to wiggle her way into my morning ritual, namely the head dunking part. Every morning, as soon as I turn the faucet on in the tub, she comes prancing over and wants JP to give her a drink. I'm a sucker for this, I think it's pretty sweet in fact, and she's my little girl after all, so I always give in and give her a drink.

Mac or PC?

Well, it is that time again. JP's tablet seems to be dying. Hard disk errors are not a good sign wouldn't you say? So I'm starting to look for a worthy replacement. I am considering another tablet,

a notebook,

or a MacBook. Now JP is an MCSE, indoctrinated into the Bill Gates brainwashed school of Windows. So if I were to go with the MacBook, I might have to turn in my super secret Microsoft decoder ring!!


But the nice thing about the MacBook is that they are offering an iPod for free if you buy the MacBook? That's almost a win/win for JP!!! So the hunt begins!!!!!! Any and all suggestions are welcome!!

Superman Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down?

Superman Returns did not disappoint. Here's my take:

1. Great opening sequence, very reminiscent of the original Superman Movie
2. The movie is true to the mythology of the Last Son of Krypton
3. The plane scene alone is enough to make the movie worthwhile
4. There are many places they can go with Superman after this movie
5. Kevin Spacey was AWESOME as Lex Luthor
6. Brandon Routh proved he can fill the shoes of the Man of Steel and pull it off as well as Christopher Reeve
7. Special effects, DAMN!!! Excellent!!!
8. They kept the original John Williams music score.
8. Sharkey liked the movie too, need I say more?

So Superman Returns gets the thumbs up!!!

Jerkstores of World Unite!

Every Thursday, JP goes out and plays in a 9 hole match play league. Match play is played in pairs, one team vs. the other. Everyone plays the hole and whatever person shoots the lowest score on the hole wins the hole for their team. The majority of holes won wins the match. My partner, Peters, is a guy I used to work with. We are a great team. We're currently in first place. We've played together for 3 years straight and we've hit a pretty good stride this year. More importantly we beat the team consisting of Jerk1 and Jerk2 both times we met this year!!

Now I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but these guys are just Jerkstores or "Jackholes." We played them last year to a tie both times we met. These guys are Jerkstores because they do and say the freakin' most annoying things when we're playing. Then on top of that we went to a playoff with them for first place last year. That's when they really showed what a$$holes they really were. See, Peters was already going to be gone the week of our match on vacation. I asked if these guys wouldn't mind rescheduling to the following week. Their exact words to me were, "99% of life is showing up, so no we will not reschedule." If I had the JP Slapomatic, both of them would've gotten slapped several times. So I played them without Peters. I almost beat them all by my lonesome too, but I was stupid on the last two holes and ended up losing the match!!!

So this year I was determined not to repeat the mistakes from last year. So the first time we met I destroyed them. I won the match in 8 holes. The second time we met tonight, Peters took it to them and we finished them off on the 9th hole. So Peters and I both were able to right things and everything is right in JP's universe again!!!!

Remember the 80's

I was watching VH1 the other night and they had an 80's video show on. It was great!!! Sharkey and I watched video's by Peter Cetera (Glory of Love), The Thompson Twins (Hold Me Now), Madness (Our House), and Kajagoogoo (Too Shy).

Man did those videos bring back some memories! I remember watching Friday Night Videos every..., well...., ...Friday!!

It came on after the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Sharkey and I were teenagers in the 80's and we both graduated in 1987. Miami Vice was the #1 show. Everyone had feathered or spiked hair (JP's hair was spiked), except for the girls who had HUGE hair! Parachute pants were in and Top Gun ruled the theaters. Plus you had all the one hit wonder bands like the ones above. The Karate Kid Part II had Mr. Miyagi still teaching Daniel-san not to be such a loser!! We spent endless hours in the arcades playing PacMan and Donkey Kong.

The one drawback to all this nostalgia was that it makes you realize how much time has gone by. The VH1 show was Classic 80's. Man does it ever suck to have your younger years referred to as "classic." It ranks up there when younger people refer to me as Mr. JP and call me "Sir." Geeze!!!!!!

Superman Returns

So we all know JP has very child like qualities. I watch Anime. Soozieq has raked me for watching "Transformers." (Ahem...) So it should come as no big surprise that Superman is JP's favorite hero of all time. How convenient that the newest movie, "Superman Returns" is coming out next week, and extremely convenient that Sharkey and I live so close to the King of Prussia iMax theater where it is playing in 3-D!!!! I went to Fandango and bought our tickets for next weekend about oh, let's see, 1 minute ago!! Whoooo hoooooo!!!!!



GO BIG BLUE!!!!!

Yeah, I took this one...

My better half Sharkey is quite the photographer. You don't believe me check out her site. So I managed to tear the Nikon D70 away from her and snap this today. See what you think....

Crankin' My Ass!!

OK, so here we are in the great Midwest. Vacation. Relaxation. Time to get in a leisurely round of golf right? WRONG!!!

So I dragged out Character Builder's hubbie for a round of 18 at Boulder Pointe Golf Club. I picked this course nearby because it didn't look too bad on the internet and it is the newest course in the area. It has a lower rating than the golf course I play at in PA. In PA, that means that the course is pretty laid back, because none of the rough has not had a good chance to establish itself, any trees they planted are small enough to chip around and you should be able to get your ball into play easily. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Stupid, stupid, stupid JP. This course was really very difficult. Tight fairways, hazards (i.e. lakes or swampland w/ reeds) on the left and right on every single hole, and trouble, trouble, trouble everywhere. Minnesota is called the land of 10,000 lakes. Well, 5,000 of them are on this freakin' course. I was cranking my ass all day long. I was the epitome of the Robin Williams golf bit.



I have been playing decent this year, well I thought I have been till now, and I have played the last 3 rounds with the same ball, so I brought a total of 6 balls with me to MN. Well after 7 holes I was 5 balls down and made the turn with 1 ball left. Not good. I ran into the proshop and bought 6 more balls. On 18th hole, I had one ball left and pretty much consistent for the round I gave that ball to the lord of the woods to chomp down on. Overall, I had a sucky day and shot 107. But what is it they say, the worst day at the golf course is still better than the best day at work. I just need to keep telling myself that and it'll be all better. Why do we play games that are destined to kill us?

J.P.'s List of things to do in MN

1. Famous Dave's
2. Big Bowl
3. LeeAnn Chin
4. Timber Lodge
5. Boulder Pointe Golf Course
6. Taco John's
7. DQ
8. Caribou Coffee Company

See any patterns here? Is JP really just about the food? Yes, absolutely JP is totally about the food. It's all about pace.... =)

MidWest ROCKS!

So Sharkey and I flew MidWest Airlines today. It was totally awesome!! I would definitely recommend them to anyone. The seats were very comfy and you didn't feel like you were invading someone's personal space or being invaded by someone else. I could see where this could be invaluable, because I am inevitably the one that gets stuck between 300lb sumo wrestling types of individuals on flights when I fly for business. The seats are leather with adjustable headrests.



There were footrests that retracted and there are only 2 seats per row!!! And the absolute best part of the flight is they serve you warm chocolate chip cookies!



Sharkey and I had a connecting flight today to get to MN, so we basked in double chocolate chippy goodness 2x today. It was a very pleasant flight and our luggage made it and we didn't use the normal colorful metaphors to describe the trip; you know things like "suck" and "blows" "bite me airline." I may never fly any other airline from Philly again...

The Night Before the Trip...

So Sharkey and I are off to the MidWest tomorrow. It's nice to get away for a bit. I've been burning the candle at both ends. I can totally relate with Soozieq's hectic life she's been living (although I think Soozieq has me beat and may have been burning two candles at the same time while juggling a third in the air). It will definitely be nice to leave the work laptop at home, change the office phone message to, "JP is out of the office and will not return your call for many days, so figure it out your freakin' self!" Yeah, that's not exactly it, but haven't you wanted to say something like that?

I'll be taking the sticks with me. It is "vacation" after all! I plan on dragging out Character Builder's hubbie for 18 holes and maybe I may get a chance to get some range time here and there (as time and Sharkey permit).

Sharkey and I were talking about driving by her old house for some drive by Nikon shots. Lot's of good memories there!! It'll be interesting to see how it has/has not changed in 6 years. She told me she had a dream we bought that place back. Foreshadowing?? Hummm....

Yeah, things have totally changed for sure. Who'd have ever thought we'd go through so much in such a short amount of time. Which leads me to my take on the past 6 years. You've read Sharkey's take, so now it is my turn.

So Sharkey and I were married, settled in PA and were living the good life. We would just sit back at times and just marveled how great we had it and how great our life was and being married to each other was just awesome. Well, after about a year, Sharkey and I decided it was time to start family planning. The funny part was that decision started us down a road neither of us was ever expecting to travel. Sharkey had a found a lump in her right breast and we shortly found out it was invasive breast cancer.

Life just spiraled out of control from there. We went through the whole battery of tests and diagnostics. I can remember thinking how our seemingly perfect life was turned upside down. At no time did we ever catch a break. Well maybe the cancer was contained to a single area? Nope it was not. Maybe none of her lymph nodes were affected? No there were several. Talk about scary. And talk about all the information to get through. I am an analytical guy. I know numbers. I know statistics. I know probabilities. I can also interpret and disseminate loads of technical and medical information. I knew how serious Sharkey's condition was and my job was to act as her buffer. She didn't want to know what the chances were for this or that. In a way that's better for some people. But that's just not my style. I need to know. I always felt that an educated guess is better than shooting in the dark and relying on a physician for the only direction. There are many things I know even today that Sharkey does not know. I think it is better that she didn't know a lot of things and I was/am willing to carry that burden for her. Attitude in a lot of cases like hers is everything. I tried to make sure hers was as positive as I could help her to be. But I don't have to tell you what a trooper Sharkey is. She's as tough as they come.

I did everything I possibly could to support her. It's the only thing I could do. I went with her to all of her appointments. I went with her to all her treatments. I'd make sure she eat, stay hydrated, take her meds on time round the clock, and that everything was kept as clean as I could. Chemo does a job on the immune system, so we had to be careful with infections, foods, crowds for a certain time after her treatments so her body would have time to rebound and regain immunity again. I learned what she'd tolerate as far as foods went after treatment and I found the hard way that aromatic food were OUT after treatments. Surprisingly, milkshakes turned out to be a winner after treatments.

Cancer is an emotional roller coaster. In the beginning we really could not catch a break. It was one bad thing after another. One disappointment after another. One scare after another. The first year was the scariest. After the initial diagnosis, she went through an operation, then treatment of chemo. She had a recurrence 6 months later, while undergoing Chemo, which was absolutely not supposed to happen. Bad news again.

But we made headway. Sharkey's CT scans and bone scans came out negative. After a year they were still negative. And here we are in the 5th year and everything is still negative.

I never talked about my wife's cancer with other guys going through the same thing as me. I never went to any cancer support groups. My faith was my support. Yes, JP believes in God. As analytical and logical as JP is, I know there's more to life than just what we can see, hear, touch, and smell. I remember my church Pastor asking me "How are you doing?" My answer was, "I'm OK, I wish what was happening to Sharkey was happening to me instead, but it's not my call, so I just have to trust God knows what He's doing." I prayed daily for Sharkey. Still do. I never ever had the attitude of thinking I could ever tell God what to do or make God a deal for her life. When you think about it, what can you offer to God that He would want anyway? So I would ask daily if He were willing to please let Sharkey be healed and whole. And when you deal with something as serious as cancer I'm of the mind set that medicine is only part of the real cure. I'm glad that as of late my prayers have turned to ones of thanks instead of ones of need, and I hope that they stay that way for a long time...

I Am So Not Musical

OK, so I realized that when I married Sharkey that we had differences, despite us being pretty similar. I like reading Science Fiction, she likes reading Political Mysteries. I like cherry pie, she likes apple pie. I like regular Pepsi, she likes Diet Pepsi. I am the dreamer, Sharkey is the realist. I like listening to music, she likes playing music. Which leads me to this post I am writing tonight. (As I type this I have the biggest grin on my face mind you). Anyhow, for those of you who do not know, my Sharkey is musical. I mean she is really musical and very talented. She plays a mean clarinet. I mean really plays. I am in awe of her when I listen to her playing. She also plays with a local community concert band. And they are pretty good mind you. I was listening to them play Mars by Holst at their last concert and my jaw just dropped it was that good.

So last night they had their band dinner. It was quite the affair. It was at a local county club that I can only dream of being a member at. And they had a "talent" show for entertainment. There were like 10 acts. I was going cross eyed and comatose after the 6th. And the reason why was because there were references to all things band and musical. So here's JP's top 10 list of observations of band people:

1. Band people do not drink much booze
2. Being able to play in a band does not give one the ability to deliver punch lines
3. Bachtoven is not a real composer. I know, I know, I was so surprised too...
4. Band people do not know how to use microphones.
5. Band people travel in herds
6. Band people talk in a language similar to Klingon.
7. Band people do not party
8. Being able to play an instrument and read music does not grant one the ability to sing
9. Speeches at fun events should be fun, inspiring, and congratulatory and not cause band members to leave crying and jumping off local bridges...
10. JP will consume a minimum of 4 Capt. Morgan/Coke at all future band functions...

Once a Carnie Always a Carnie!

Well one of my favorite times of the year has come, Fair Season!!! Fair season is where all the small towns have their carnivals. There are art fairs going on, craft fairs going on, and local festivals to celebrate produce. Case in point, about 1/2 a mile away from our house is the Strawberry Festival. This local festival brings in rides and the best part Carnie food!! Things that you can eat on sticks, deep fried everything, and fresh strawberry shortcake!! It is a cholesterol fest! You get a free tablet of Crestor or Zocor when you walk through the gate. I was doing the first pass through the fair tonight with my neighbor and saw a deep fried cheesecake with strawberry puree. YUM!!! I think I'll have to try it tomorrow!